Friday, March 10, 2006

Women and Children First

Peter Heck brought up a fascinating story about a lawsuit involving women's and men's so-called reproductive rights. A man named Matt Dubay fathered a child with a woman who claimed she was unable to conceive, and now he really doesn't want to be financially destroyed (who would?) just because the mother "chose" to give birth and raise the child. I suppose his legal argument will be that if abortion and adoption are legitimate options, why should her choice ruin his future?

The short version of the law in this country is that a woman can invite any man to her bed, become pregnant, give birth, and then extract an exorbitant quantity of money from the man's paycheck, and the man has no "choice" in the matter... beyond not having sex in the first place, of course.

In this country the woman has two choices that will solve the man's problem: 1) have an abortion 2) give up the child for adoption. But again, these are strictly the woman's options. If after conception men had the options of marriage or adoption... women would be more chaste or much more careful.

Men's "rights" are not much better when the child is born in wedlock. In the distant past it was the man who was much more likely to be unfaithful to his vows, but today... how many married women find someone else, or simply decide they don't love their husband anymore and want out?

And that's not all they want. They want the house. They want the child. They want the money. The man must then pay for an apartment and pay child support... basically be financially ruined, and is expected to be a "stand-up-guy" as another man comes along and raises his child and sleeps in his bed... all because his wife was unhappy and didn't want to keep her promise.

In many cases men get exactly what they deserve... But my point is, in some cases they don't.

For men there are no good answers to these problems... at least not after the fact. The lifeboat, that is our law, protects the weakest of us and the old adage "women and children first" is the guiding principle. And it's the best principle for a bad situation.

So my advice for a young man would be:
1) Show a great deal of caution when you choose a mate. She may be the weaker sex, but the law gives her a great deal of power over your future.
2) Women in bars are looking for easy, quick fulfillment, and a good time. After they are married and have kids, they will be looking for easy, quick fulfillment, and a good time.
3) Do yourself a big favor and find a woman that prays... not just one that goes to church... but a woman that prays and has a stubborn faith... a woman that is going to pray for you, your children, and your marriage... even when you're clueless clumsy, and stupid... which you will be.
4) And remember, if you're not in love with a woman's character, you're not in love.

And take heart young man, because if you choose wisely... after the birth of a couple kids, after 20 years, after 20 pounds... respect and admiration are powerful aphrodisiacs.


Andrew said...

A corollary to your advice to young men: if and when you find such a woman, thank God for her every day.

Malott said...

...Obviously the comments of a man in love... and with a very special lady.

SkyePuppy said...

There's a couple at my church, and they've been married 49 years. He still calls his wife, "my bride." It's so sweet.

But you're right: "In many cases men get exactly what they deserve... But my point is, in some cases they don't."

Human nature is across the board. It's not that "all men are dogs" or "all women are golddiggers." There are men and women of good or bad character, and their character will show itself in what they do.

Excellent advice to the young men.