Saturday, March 25, 2006

I Hate Cats

I normally try to avoid this issue because so many people that I respect have an unexplainable love for cats (Felis domesticus, as we say in Greentown) and I have never been one to be insensitive or controversial even when people make moronic decisions as to what pets to maintain. It's just not my way.

I'm allergic to cats. They make my skin itch and my eyes swell but that's not the reason I despise them.

It's like this. If a person breaks into your home and attempts to beat you to death with a baseball bat, your dog will die trying to defend you... even the little yippee dogs and French poodles (which, of course, in a perfect world would all be euthanized).

A cat, on the other hand would just sit there and watch... and perhaps purr.

I have this theory that the reason why we no longer see demonic possession like we saw in the New Testament is because at some point Jesus sent all the demons into cats. It's a theory of mine. Now does this mean that we can make a huge leap and wrecklessly assume that people who love and own cats are a little possessed, too? Probably. But it's not my place to say.

So there you have it. Cats are demonic.

Dogs on the other hand...

7 comments:

peterheck said...

Amen.

SkyePuppy said...

Cats can be soft and fluffy, if they're long-haired. Short-haired cats have no purpose.

My little Yorkie is soft and fluffy (except for right after she gets her summer haircut), plus she's a dog, and that's so much better!

Demons don't like dogs, because dogs have godly qualities, like loyalty and faithfulness and forgiveness. Cats...well, you said it, Chris.

janice said...

All polls done on pet owners show the majority of cat owners are liberials. Dog owners on ther other hand are conservatives. Cats are loners and self serving. Dogs however, are loyal, obedient and protective. I too, hate cats. They are sneaky, distant and demonic. Cats are also associated with idol worship and roamed the temples. I'm with you Chris, I HATE cats!

Alasdair Thomson said...

I think that is totaly true. They are a waste of time, money and love.

Barnze said...

I hate cats...They are evil like Clowns,nuns & midgets.

Robin said...

It's nice to see someone who is allergic to cats, and therefore has never had a chance to actually meet one, believes they are an authority on the subject. Perhaps I, a diabetic, should write an essay comparing the tastes of various brands of candy. For one thing, if the sole reason you are getting a dog is to protect you if you are attacked, I will have to say, you'd be better off simply getting a gun. If you are saying that cats do not love their owners, that is simply not true. While they have pride and dignity, their affection is apparent to any who has given them affection from kittenhood. They will comfort their owners when hurt or upset, step between an attacking stray and a person or cat they percieve as their friend, and some will even wait outside doors for their owners to return to them. I have even seen my cats lick and comfort our dogs when they are sick, and cuddle close when their dying bodies began to shake, trying to give what comfort they could.

Cats Suck said...

Cats are evil, stuck up, and do funny and weird stuff. Dogs are faithful.