After 46 years the Naked Truth Sees the Light of Day... Is Brought Out and Examined... Is Exposed... Displayed... Laid Bare... Uncovered... Unmasked... Unveiled... All That.
When my mother went into labor and they checked her out... They found that my umbilical cord was preceding me. Not good. With my oxygen supply cut off, I no doubt became indignant and began pounding my fists against the walls of my mother's uterus, demanding immediate action... Well maybe I did. Anyway, they rushed us to the delivery room.
I was born a blue baby... Breech... With a prolapsed cord. Then I got sick. In short, because of my general health - or lack thereof - they never got around to circumcising me.
Fast forward to the summer when I am seven years old. I develop a hernia that requires surgery. Unknown to me... My parents talk to the surgeon behind my back and arrange for me to be circumcised during my hernia surgery.
I was kept in the dark on this issue.
In the recovery room, at some point after the surgery I inadvertently knocked the bandage off my member... And my most vivid memory of that day is the sight of three nurses and my mother huddled over me as the nurses re-bandaged my John Thomas. And... My dad coming from around the corner, quickly developing an "OH MY GOD!" look on his face, and immediately disappearing.
Most tragedies are best illustrated in pictures... As they will be here. (No... no... no... I don't mean that.) Below is my first grade picture, taken about 10 months before the horror.
Notice the innocent look on my face... The trusting eyes. Notice the easy, carefree smile. Is this a normal and well-adjusted little man? Oh yes. Yes he is.
Now look at my second grade picture, about 2 months after my surgery.
Notice the vacant stare. Notice the forced smile. The picture reveals disillusionment and a new found cynicism. Even my hair is different, symbolically clipped and trimmed. This is a young man who trusts no one... Sadly, not even his parents.
Two years later I had knee surgery to repair a torn cartilage. Before going under the knife I had many long talks with my parents. I can assure you that details were discussed... And promises were made...
18 comments:
Oh dear!
Maybe this was the cause of your in-depth analysis regarding current events...however laced periodically with cynacism?
In other words - no one is easily ever going to fool you again!
Despite all, have you had any therapy to help you recover from what is referred to in Judaism as a brit milah? (Usually done at age eight days and without anesthesia when all the men folk gather and a mohel does the circumcision).
I agree with your parents, though, that it was best without inviting family AND under anesthesia.
To quote Skye: "oh dear!"
So Christina and I were talking on the phone tonight about the nephews post...and she asked if I'd seen today's addition. I said no and she told me to be sure to read. So I'm thinking more family pictures...this definitely took me by surprise!!
I'll just keep echoing Skyepuppy...oh dear!
Actually, I think I took it pretty much "in stride", and got past it rather quickly.
But it was never discussed... And I remember feeling terribly ashamed, embarrassed, and humiliated that I had been involved in such an enterprise.
It's kind of funny now... Then again, I know I never spoke of it to anyone until I was well past 40.
And that cute little kid grew up to be the author of this blog, WTF?!
Jacob,
When I think of -ALL- the things you could have written...
God bless you.
I really don't know what to say. Skyepuppy pretty much summed it up.
How could such dear, sweet and loving people as your mom and dad do such a dastardly deed? I think I would question the input of your older, somewhat crazier of late, brother. Perhaps he had a hand in this?
Regardless, I needed the laugh this provided yesterday...and today...
Also: circumcision? Without a word of irony, that is barbaric.
Christina,
I labor to come up with subjects that spur people's interests sufficiently - that they will leave comments. So now we know that you are preoccupied with cats and... well...
Jacob,
I agree... But it's the common practice in the USA.
Australia?
Yeah, it's weird, I don't think circumcision is even thought of in Australia in most cases. I've never even seen a circumcised penis - frankly I can only imagine that it would look funny.
I suppose it just baffles me. I mean, what purpose does it serve? I've heard the argument that it's supposed to be more hygienic, but I've gone eighteen years and I couldn't have a cleaner bill of health... down there.
But anyway, yeah. If you were at all inclined, you could possibly sue the doctor (assuming s/he isn't dead) for performing an unnecessary and painful procedure against your will. Just a thought.
Jacob,
Actually, medical types have discovered that circumcised men have a SIGNIFICANTLY lower risk of catch HIV/AIDS than uncircumcised ones. It's a big enough difference that there's a push in Africa to get men (and unsuspecting little boys) circumcised there, even though their cultures don't do that.
You might want to think about that. I understand the procedure is much less traumatic when you know it's going to happen...
Isn't it just easier to just use a condom... or, better yet, to not let random sodomy become a part of one's routine?
You know you are flirting with the heights... You know you have "arrived"... When your blog has its first foreskin debate.
My cup runneth over. (So to speak.) I am filled with pride.
If it's a choice between having to have a painful surgery (or put your baby boy through it) or to just encourage good hygiene and not be averse to condom use, I'll go non-surgical. Especially since the evidence is starting to mount that circumcision reduces the pleasures of sex. Unless you have religious reasons for doing it, I don't see the reason for it.
But "religious reasons" don't really fly with me on this issue, given that a) it isn't the baby's religion, it's the parents', and b) no baby in the history of ever has consented to circumcision.
This made me laugh out loud!!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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