Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Amazing Revelation for January

Yes, Malott has decided that as a public service he will research and reveal one amazing revelation each month. Shown here posing nude for a photo during his college days (He needed the money), Malott has been been researching and revealing for a long long time now and has learned the ropes, mostly through trial and error. The entire staff at Malott's blog is very excited about this new feature.

So without further tedious and annoying build up, here is January's Amazing Revelation:

The Declaration of Independence is a Big Doobie.

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both cultivated hemp on their farms—the Declaration of Independence was drafted on paper made from hemp fibers. Benjamin Franklin started the first American paper mill, which made paper exclusively from hemp.

Isn't that amazing! I figure it this way... The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper because... If the "Revolution Thing" didn't work out, the founding fathers could have rolled up and smoked the venerable document, thus destroying the evidence.

"I cannot tell a lie... I grew hemp on my farm but it was used only for... Uh... Uhhh... I've lost my train of thought..."
-- George Washington

I know that hemp, -marijuana as we say in Greentown, was used for industrial purposes, but you gotta figure that after the farmers sat around separating the stems from the seeds and leaves, they just naturally burned the leaves. These guys surely figured out early on that there was much more in hemp than just rope and paper.

"Rolling numbers, rockin' rollin', got my Kiss records out." -- James Madison

Yes, hemp is our friend. It is used in the production of everything from textiles to pesticides, and has contributed to the invention of products proven to be greatly beneficial to man, such as the guitar, the potato chip, and brownies.

Peter Interviews Representative from F.A.R.T. (Fair, Amiable, Real Tolerance)

That's comedian John Branyan (Aaron Carpenter) with Peter.

Quote for the Day

Because of Biblical prophecy, I do not worry about Israel. But I do worry about what will happen to the United States if she abandons Israel.
As America's spiritual offenses continue to pile up, I wonder what happens to a sin-embracing nation that becomes politically irrelevant to God's purposes.
-- Malott


Monday, December 29, 2008

Quote for the Day

Settling on just one person with whom to practice perversion does not make a marriage.
-- Malott

News from Israel and Surrounding Sandland

From the White House: "Hamas' continued rocket attacks into Israel must cease if the violence is to stop. (Brilliant) Hamas must end its terrorist activities if it wishes to play a role in the future of the Palestinian people.

"The United States urges Israel to avoid civilian casualties as it targets Hamas in Gaza."

Notice that the U.S. Government does not suggest that Hamas should "avoid civilian casualties." That's because Hamas routinely attacks women and children, cannot be reasoned with, and will stop attacking Israel only when every Jew in Israel is exterminated. Excuse me... Tortured and exterminated.

Note to Israel: You are at war and have been since your inception. You are at war with an army of animals that cannot be placated. Your restraint only encourages them. If the Mexican government was lobbing rockets into San Diego, the U.S. Government would carpet bomb the offending provinces... Because the American people would insist. Neither the U.S. government nor its people would put up with the crap you are dealing with.

So flip-off the U.S. and the United Nations, find yourself a Joshua, and fight your war with any means necessary to make your people safe.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Julie Newmar... pre-Catwoman

She said in high school she was self conscious about her height, and tried to walk a little bit stoop shouldered. On imdb her height is officially listed at 5'11".

She was born in 1933 and was the best Catwoman ever... Period... End of story... Because she was the most beautiful... And I was heavily into puberty.

Oh, you can have Lee Meriwether, Eartha Kitt, Halle Berry, and the really terrible Michelle Pfeiffer. Give me Julie Newmar.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Polar Bear Caught Praying for More Global Warming

It's really cold our here folks! But if you thought your butt was about to freeze off...
The first day of winter brought wind-chill warnings, snow and a bevy of storms to cities across Canada on Sunday, potentially laying the groundwork for the first cross-country white Christmas in nearly four decades.
Environment Canada meteorologist Geoff Coulson told The Canadian Press that the Prairies would see very low temperatures, falling into the -30s by Sunday evening.
I was wondering... If Tennessee lost all power, and Al Gore froze stiff in his Barcalounger... How long would it take his family to sense a change in him. I mean, this would constitute a pretty subtle change for old Al.
Maybe when he didn't show up for dinner...

o holy night - gaither homecoming

Thanks, Grammy.

Merry Christmas

Fragile fingers sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorns
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born. ..

So wrap our injured flesh around You
Breathe our air and walk our sod
Rob our sin and make us holy
Perfect Son of God.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Rick Warren Too Anti-Gay to Pray

Barack Obama’s choice of a prominent evangelical minister to deliver the invocation at his inauguration is a conciliatory gesture toward social conservatives who opposed him in November, but it is drawing fierce challenges from a gay rights movement that — in the wake of a gay marriage ban in California — is looking for a fight.

The editor of the Washington Blade, Kevin Naff, called the choice “Obama’s first big mistake.”

“His presence on the inauguration stand is a slap in the faces of the millions of GLBT voters who so enthusiastically supported him,” Naff wrote, referring to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. “This tone-deafness to our concerns must not be tolerated. We have just endured eight years of endless assaults on our dignity and equality from a president beholden to bigoted conservative Christians. The election was supposed to have ended that era. It appears otherwise.”

Yeah, that's a shame. I'm giving even odds that Warren will get booed at the inauguration. I just wish he would pray something that would earn a good booing. He could pray for Obama's conversion to authentic Christianity. He could pray for the unborn. He could pray for all Gays to repent... That might do it! Hey! He surprised us at the Saddleback Debate when he asked Obama when the unborn deserved protection!

I had to look-up GLBT and ended up learning some new words:

Gynephilia: The romantic and/or sexual attraction to adult females. (I've had a bad case of this for about 45 years.)

Autogynephilia: Refers to "a man's paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman. (I never think about that... Though I'm sure I'd be hot.)

Apotemnophilia: The erotic interest in being or looking like an amputee. It should not be confused with acrotomophilia, which is the erotic interest in people who are amputees. When experienced very strongly, some people with apotemnophilia come to feel discontented with their bodies and want to actually remove an otherwise healthy limb, a condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder. Some apotemnophiles seek surgeons to perform an amputation or purposefully injure a limb in order to force emergency medical amputation. (Dang! No, I need all my parts.)

There are some messed up people out there. After reading all that stuff I'm feeling pretty good about myself... It's good to be relatively normal.

MoveOn . Org's Goals for 2009

MoveOn is asking for suggestions from its members about what their "big goals for 2009" should be. Just a few suggestions from the faithful on the far-Left:

1. Decriminalize drug laws and other mandatory minimum sentences!

2. Hold Bush and Cheney responsible for their war crimes.

3. Undoing the damage done to women's reproductive rights (What?)

4. Union Jobs in a Green Economy financed by military cuts (my favorite)

5. Fix the current economic crisis (Brilliant)

6. Total civil rights for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people

7. Legalize Gay Marriages in all states!

8. Bring back the Fairness Doctrine

9. Zero Population Growth

10. access to abortion by doctors, poor women, nationally & internationally

11. Peace in Iraq and Afghanistan, Israel and Palestine (great idea!)

12. ending the racist War on Drugs and War on Terror

13. Ban all guns in America (What guns?)

14. Get rid of nuclear weapons.

It reads like a wish list or Christmas list for the reality-challenged. But with Obama in the White House and the Dems firmly in control of Congress... These MoveOn guys may accurately reflect the soul of our federal government.


Amazing Revelation for December

Yes, Malott has decided that as a public service he will research and reveal one amazing revelation each month. Shown here in a recent photo, Malott, who has always looked young for his age, has been been researching and revealing for a long long time now and has learned the ropes, mostly through trial and error. The entire staff at Malott's blog is very excited about this new feature.

So without further tedious and annoying build up, here is December's Amazing Revelation:

Enya Sings Her Own Songs!

I hope you're as amazed as I was! Of course it would be more interesting if anyone cared, but I don't think my amazing revelations should be limited by anything as subjective as levels of interest or significance.
Like most people, I always figured this woman only mouthed the words while some middle-aged woman from New Jersey with a disfiguring skin disease actually did the singing. But I found a YouTube video that shows this woman, who inexplicably chooses to go by her first name only, is actually singing before an audience with a mic. Born Enya Stunkerd on May 17 1961, this woman has been producing fluff that rivals even the pathetic drivel of Andrew Lloyd Weber.

I thought of posting an Enya video, but even this shlockey blog has some standards. So instead I'm posting an Enya song from Celtic Woman that I saw on a PBS Fund Drive which features three anonymous babes in formals. (I did not contribute.)
The best part is when they bow at the end and the objects of my sincerest admiration threaten to abandon their moorings.
Yes... I'll post most anything...

Celtic Woman - Orinoco Flow

I particulary like the one backup singer who evidently got diverted from her audition as one of Dracula's brides.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Let Them Eat Cake

The auto bailout bill, which passed the House in a 237-170 vote on Wednesday, was defeated in a 52-35 procedural vote in the Senate late Thursday night after negotiations between automakers, the UAW, and Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) fell apart.

“As far as the failure of last night, it solely lies on UAW,” Coburn told CNSNews.com. “All we asked was, ‘Just give us a date at which you will have competitive wage rates. We will put it in and that’s what you will have to meet.’ They would not move. They would not renegotiate their contract with GM as far as wage rates.”

Coburn was referring to an amendment crafted by Corker that would have required the auto makers to reduce their labor costs to a level equal to the salaries paid by non-unionized foreign auto companies operating in the United States, firms such as Nissan, Toyota and Honda.

Yes, I am shocked that the United Auto Workers would rather take my money than lower their wages and make the Big 3 competitive.

I heard on The Peter Heck Show that the Big 3 auto workers make, counting benefits, 70+ dollars per hour, while Americans working in Toyota, Nissan and other non-unionized American auto plants make 40 dollars per hour.

So I'm wondering how I'm going to work up some compassion, and support a bailout, so that the UAW guys can continue making more money than I make.

My job, that required four years of college, pays (I figure) close to what the Toyota and Nissan guys make, maybe a little more... Or possibly less. Over the years, the hospital where I work has cut certain benefits and done its best to keep our wages at a rate that allows us to remain in the black. We have no union and our hospital competes for customers, and professional and unskilled workers, with hospitals and businesses around us.

I don't know what the answer is for the Big 3. But I know they can't compete while paying what they pay their workers. If the UAW continues its irrational stance, then bankruptcy will certainly follow at some point, and I do not see the logic of prolonging the idiocy by strapping our taxpayers with a bailout.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Ilana Goldman Avoids Easy Abortion Questions

Sometimes it's the unanswered questions that reveal the most.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Quote for the Day

In life many of us Christians have tried to preach and have tried to believe that the life of a believer is all joy and no pain. That isn’t so. And we’ve tried to believe that for those people who don’t know the Lord as we do, their life is all pain and no joy, and that isn’t so. You know what the difference is (and it’s taken me a long time to learn it)? For them, the pain is fundamental and the joy is superficial because it won’t last. For us, the pain is superficial and the joy is fundamental.
--Steve Saint, speaking at the memorial service for Roni and Charity Bowers


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Global Warming Feigns Cooling

For the first time in nearly four years, snow fell across the New Orleans region this morning, with flurries reported on the north shore and in the city, Metairie, Kenner, LaPlace and other parts of the south shore. By around 10 a.m., the snow had mostly stopped, replaced by freezing rain in many places, making driving treacherous.

Addressing the calamity, Al Gore reasoned, "It's just like global warming to try and trick us this way! If the planet cools it only means that our situation is critical, and we need to ban the automobile and redouble our efforts to return our culture to the 17th century."

He then began drooling and jumping around on one foot while slapping his face with both hands.

The entire staff at Malott's Blog salutes this passionate defender of the planet.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Calling-In Gay

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - Some same-sex marriage supporters are urging people to "call in gay" Wednesday to show how much the country relies on gays and lesbians, but others question whether it's wise to encourage skipping work given the nation's economic distress.

Just a comment: I have never been married. I don't date. I'm not tough looking. I have small hands. I have skinny wrists and legs. I have blond hair and I'm a tenor. And even if I had two broken legs and a collapsed lung, I would have dragged myself into work today.

The maintenance guys would have talked.


Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Obama Commemorative Plate

This is an opportunity you shouldn't miss. With some presidents you really have to wait to see how they are going to work out. But not Barack H. Obama. This guy's legacy is a sure thing!

So don't delay! Get your Barack Obama Commemorative Plate at http://www.obamaplate.com/

Or buy the whole set!

The Hindenburg Plate!

The Titanic Plate!

The Challenger Disaster Plate! (too soon?)

These fine products brought to you by Disaster Plates Limited. For people of taste who recognize doom when they see it coming!


Quote for the Day

To discern that natural virtues antagonize surrender to God, is to bring our soul into the centre of its greatest battle. It is the good that hates the best, and the higher up you get in the scale of the natural virtues, the more intense is the opposition to Jesus Christ.
-- Oswald Chambers


Saturday, December 06, 2008

It's Time to Bail Out the Oil Companies

The last time I filled up my gas tank I felt a little guilty. With gasoline prices plummeting, I wonder how the oil and gas workers are going to keep their jobs.

And it's bad news for the rest of us, too.

Throughout his run for President, Mr. Obama argued the (oil) industry deserved special taxation on its "excess" earnings. He planned to use the proceeds to fund an "emergency" round of $1,000 rebate checks for families. "It isn't right that oil companies are making record profits when ordinary Americans are going into debt trying to pay rising energy costs," he said.

If something isn't done fast, that $1000 dollar check won't accompany the big tax cut we'll be receiving in the spring.

Left unexplained was why the oil companies suddenly decided to stop profiteering, or manipulating commodity prices, or whatever it was they were supposedly doing.

The obvious problem is that the oil companies are just too nice for their own good. Those sweethearts have lowered the price of gas so much that there is almost nothing left to tax.

But as we all know, Barack Obama is a genius in economics and I'm overwhelmingly confident that he can... Yes he can!... Set these oil guys on the right track... And bail them out so the rest of us can get our $1000 dollar checks.


Thursday, December 04, 2008

Actresses Aging Gracefully

I found another video of actresses who - didn't - age gracefully, but it was too sad to post... Too much plastic surgery, I'd guess.

I figure the women in the video above had some help, but maybe kept it simple?

I Love This PictureI saw this picture over at La Shawn Barber's site. There was just something about it that made me stop and stare.

After a couple minutes I noticed the baby.

It may be time for me to start dating again. It's been six long, long, pain free years and I've wondered if there is an Indiana Statute addressing common law virginity. My nephew, the lawyer, would know... But being a lawyer, he would try and charge me for the information.

I think the restlessness began when I switched from walking to running for exercise. I run 2 miles at least 3 times per week... Not bad for 54. My theory is that as the heart gets stronger and the blood flow increases... ... ... Maybe I should stop now before it gets ugly.

There is little dignity in being a middle-aged male and single, and what dignity there is can easily be extinguished by dating... Especially when every candidate is way more mature than you are. Most women my age have had a real man with a good job and wouldn't be interested in marrying the winner of the Danny Bonaduce Emotional Maturity Award. My dream is to find a widow whose husband beat her... I surely would look good to her, and hey!... I'm a good actor and can misrepresent myself as almost any one's dream come true if the engagement period is short enough.

I've got my line ready: "Hey, I was thinking about asking you out, but then I remembered I was busy that night." Smooth! Cards on the table... shuffled and dealt.

One good humiliation should put my package back in the sexual cedar chest where it belongs... Sort of like when Spock went back to Vulcan for "congress" and got jilted. -Love that episode.

I'll probably take a year and think about it.


Fred Thompson on the Economy

The funny thing about Fred's sarcastic video is that the average Obama voter who watched it would think, "Hey! This sounds pretty good!"

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Quote for the Day

"God's blessings... And His Grace... Flow to the place of repentance."
--James MacDonald


Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Muhammad Does Mumbai

Last year I posted about the amazing inventions, technological advancements, and scientific achievements of Israel's Jews.

Last week in Mumbai, India, 10 guys from Pakistan showcased the best that Islam has to offer.

It's really not much of a contest. It's like Einstein and Stephen Hawking teaming up in Robotics Competition against Gomer Pyle and Jethro Bodine. And it's inherently unfair that a Jewish scientist can develop one new microchip after another, while a Muslim terrorist can blow himself up only once... Just one of those little inequities in vocational pursuits.

When you live in physical and intellectual squalor, it's easy to hate the guy in the big house on the hill. Jealousy and hate are easy... Improving yourself is hard.

In Mumbai, 2 of the 10 terrorists tortured and killed a 29 year old rabbi and his wife.

Here is a quote from Dennis Prager...

"...it is exquisitely fitting that the same week the murders in Mumbai were taking place, the United Nations General Assembly passed six more anti-Israel resolutions. As it has for decades, the U.N. has again sanctioned hatred for a good and decent country as small on the map of the world as the Chabad House is on the map of Mumbai."

The world is at war, and we just elected a guy that can't see it.