Malott to Form CRACR
We have all heard of CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations... We've all heard their suggestions and pronouncements about how America can be better Americans by doing things that please Muslim-Americans.
Well, the entire staff at Malott's Bog plans to charter an organization named The Council of Real-American Christian Relations... or CRACR... pronounced Cracker. CRACR will venture to educate CAIR, and other Muslims in ways in which they might be better Americans and please their Christian friends.
In keeping with this theme, CRACR feels strongly that American Muslims should make an effort to appear more patriotic. Maybe Muslims could attach an American flag decal to their prayer rugs. On their web site, perhaps CAIR could place an image of Mohamed dressed as Uncle Sam. CRACR would like that!
CRACR feels that Muslims could honor the Judeo portion of America's Judeo-Christian Tradition by inaugurating Take a Jew to Lunch Day. Or, perhaps Muslims could pronounce their mosques to be honorary synagogues during Passover. CRACR would like that!
CRACR believes American Muslims might demonstrate their desire to assimilate into the American Culture by inaugurating a yearly event in which Muslims abandon habits of dress which might make their Christian friends uncomfortable... And call it Tender the Towel Day.
Muslims will be able to visit the CRACR web site where they will regularly find suggestions on how they can please their Christian friends!