Sunday, January 29, 2006


Vacation's End

My vacation is over today. Thats why I look like this. Oh sure, I knew it wouldn't last forever, but this week went way too fast. (Do I look well in this picture? Maybe I should call in sick Monday.)

Surely a man of my warmth, wisdom, and sensitivity shouldn't have to work. I'm kind. I'm well-mannered. I whine a little, but other than that... And who came up with this five day work week anyway? What were they thinking? I'm not Superman. I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound. (You're disappointed? ...Think how I feel...) In my department there's me, a 24-year-old male, and 7 women. Who do you think does most of the work? MmmHmm. And am I appreciated? ...No I am not. Am I sexually harrassed? ...Not even if I was begging.

You say I should be grateful to have a job? You say I should be thankful that I'm healthy enough to go to work? Well why don't you just shut up.

No, actually I'm a little bored and I miss my friends at work. (he tells himself, knowing it's a ruse.) Once I'm settled in on Monday... once I'm bantering (masterfully) with my rapier-like wit... once I'm flirting (pathetically) with the young women... I'll be ok... probably.

I'm done now.

...thank you.

4 comments:

All_I_Can_Stands said...

When I get back from vacation I need a vacation to recover. They really take it out of me. First, I need to work extra hard before vacation to make sure all will go smoothly during my absense. Then I go on vacation. Since I only get so much vacation and I travel a lot during it, I want to make sure I see and do everything. Then I come back to work with my tongue hanging out only to have a huge pile of catchup work. It usually take me about 2-3 weeks to recover from vacation.

But...I can't wait for the next one.

janice said...

Take solace in looking forward to the next week you have off. I spread them out, 3 a year, that way you're in the mood to go back and wait for the next one.

Peter W. Heck said...

Look, I enjoyed the post, but that comment about your rapist wit was a bit much.

Malott said...

Oh fine, Mr Heck... try and get me arrested. I don't know what a "rapist wit" is, but it certainly sounds illegal.