Monday, August 11, 2008

Ralphetta! I Just Met a Girl Named Ralphetta

(No, really!)

I'm thinking we need some sort of governmental agency whose task it is to review and approve names. I mean... Ralphetta? No little girl deserves that.

The agency should also approve spelling and accepted pronunciation. (Brett) Favre should be pronounced "fav ruh", not "farv." A little boy should never be named "Mathew"... But rather "Matthew", regardless of the intelligence level of his inbred mother.

A little girl should never be named "Loveankisses." (Yep... She exists.)

Also, certain first and last names should not be allowed to coexist. I know of a man named Turly Curd... a nightmare scenario for dyslexics everywhere.

So please leave in comments your worst name experiences... And if you have good name for the govt. agency... I'll take that, too.
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11 comments:

janice said...

Oh Chris, I too have wondered what was going through the parents mind when naming their children.

Nick showed me his yearbook and pointed out a classmate whose name is Richard Head. Don't his folks know how cruel kids can be.....

How about NFL player Anthony Toney, pronounced Tony?

8/11/2008 9:54 AM
Malott said...

Oh my... I don't suppose there's any chance they nicknamed young Mr Head - Rick?

8/11/2008 10:02 AM
Anonymous said...

When I worked OB one of my young patients wanted to name her newborn Shawn. But she insisted on spelling his name Schwan.

The young girls are the worst.

8/11/2008 10:58 AM
Christina said...

Well, the two I can think of off the top of my head is a nurse I once knew whose last name made her official working title "Nurse Slaughter" and then there is the newlywed named Courtney who married a man with last name Courtney, thus making her Courtney Courtney.

There are many more, but I really liked your "Turly Curd" name...that's priceless.

We've always thought it would be rather interesting to name one of our children something that began with an "O", thus making our child's official abbreviated name O. Heck.

8/11/2008 11:40 AM
Tsofah said...

I ran into a Donald Duckworth and a Yure Gross (first name was pronounced Yur-E though). Also, my own name is different, and, I LIKE IT! (raspberry to Chris).

Delta is a good, gentle but strong name. :-) The fact that she just celebrated the 11th anniversary of her 39th birthday is good too.

8/11/2008 1:07 PM
Tsofah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
8/11/2008 1:08 PM
SkyePuppy said...

My mom went back to school to become a medical secretary when the three of us kids were in Jr. High (or late grade school), and one of her fellow students was a 65 year-old grandmother whose given name was Bubbles. It's cute when they're toddlers, but c'mon parents! Kids turn into adults.

Oh, and there were parents back in the '70s who named (or were trying to name) their daughter, Equal Rights Amendment Smith. I can't remember if they were successful.

8/11/2008 1:16 PM
SkyePuppy said...

Oh, I met a guy named Pablo Pablo. He said his parents misunderstood when the hospital officials were filling out the birth certificate and asked for his name. They gave their last name, and the person wrote it down as the first name too. The parents thought they were stuck with that name, since it was on the birth certificate that way.

8/11/2008 1:22 PM
janice said...

My best girl friend in HS, Chris(tine) Roman dated a boy a year older than us named Chris(topher) Roman. Not related.....

8/11/2008 3:07 PM
Bekah said...

LOL - we crack up about this sort of stuff in our office all the time because we see some really good ones. Mostly we like to say which ones should marry each other for the sake of some really fun hyphenated last name options.

There was one girl whose (married) last name was Virgin. But my personal all time favorite was a guy named Jesus. And it was pronounced JESUS - like Father Son and Holy Spirit Jesus. And his middle initial was C. The first time his mom ever called me I thought surely I must be hearing her wrong. I kept saying "Now what's his name again?" They were a very nice family, but it always seemed odd to me to talk about getting emails from Jesus.

And Christina - I think you should definitely go the O. Heck route. Priceless.

8/11/2008 10:57 PM
SkyePuppy said...

One more story. A Vietnamese lady at work, who was very pregnant with her first, was having trouble coming up with a boy name (they had a girl name already). Her last name was Vu, and her husband's last name was Pham. Presumably they'd hyphenate the last name for the baby. We offered her some suggestions, and then one guy said, "Name him Fee-Fi."

Thankfully they had a girl.

8/12/2008 12:27 PM

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