Ribbons on Sticks
I suppose I have Olympic Fever just like everyone else. I haven't watched any of it yet, but that's just because I don't really get emotionally involved until the little girls come out with Ribbons on Sticks. Oh you can keep your baseball and your hockey because what really gets my heart to pumpin' is the NFL, College Basketball, and those little girls with ribbons on sticks.
Now I've seen Michael Jordan dunk a basketball and I've seen Jerry Rice practically levitate as he stretched out to catch a football. But many of the great and more celebrated athletes pale and lose their mystique once you've seen those little girls with ribbons on sticks. Such grace... such grit... such a long ribbon.
Are they in the winter games or do they play in the summer? Anyway whenever they're on I'll be there with my popcorn and Pepsi glued to my TV set, getting all excited, flushed with tension, and cheering like a madman for those little girls with ribbons on sticks.
10 comments:
Peter,
I was disappointed by your post. As I read your description of the "circle-circle, loop-loop, figure 8, shimmy" move, I thought to myself: "now here is someone with a true appreciation for the intricacy and grace of ribbon-on-a-stick competitions". But, then, I discovered your in-depth knowledge of stick twirling was all a big facade when you referred to the ribbon sinking to the ice. I'm pretty sure that ribbons on sticks are reserved for the rhythmic gymnastics competition of the Summer Olympics - something a true ribbon-on-a-stick-ophile would know.
However, I would have to say that if they made it a winter sport, the agony that would come from watching a little girl get her ribbon caught up in her ice skate thereby causing her to plunge head first into the crowd would certainly be heartwrenching - not Brian Meeker running chest first into the vault sort of heartwrenching, of course - but heartwrenching nonetheless.
So, Chris, are you a big fan of synchronized swimming as well? For me, I get all excited just thinking about the colorful swimcaps.
This is why I blog... so that I can stir debate and elicit such deep and profound comments as those above. Thank you gentlemen.
Is it the ribbon? Is it the stick? Is it the petite, nubile little girls in tights? Whatever it is... it stirs the passion for athletics deep inside me and warms my heart.
Peter,
Oh how I wish you hadn't made the remark about your manhood being validated. Such a comment necessarily calls into question my own - and that is most unfortunate.
As a result, I feel it necessary to reveal that rumor has it that you once took gymnastics lessons as a boy. Now I'm not saying that you were the next Bruce Jenner or Mary Lou Retton, but I heard you were quite the sight to behold on the uneven bars. Is there any truth to these rumors?
Strike that... not Bruce Jenner, I meant Bart Conner.
My only comment here is aimed for the esteemed sirs Andrew and Peter. I heard that break dancing is going to be an Olympic sport in the next Olympics...either of you planning on entering? Rumblings around here are that you both had a very promising career in that field, but walked away too soon. If you do choose to enter, maybe you could wear tights and use ribbons in your choreography, thus giving Chris a thrill unlike anything else the Olympics currently has to offer. Just a thought...
Oh and Peter, if breakdancing isn't your thing anymore, maybe joining the swim team will give your heart a little lift?
Chris,
The ribbons, the sticks,
as they twirl and they spin,
Hold your breath as you watch
for the girl who will win.
The grace and the grit,
must I bring you to tears?
I fear you must wait
for another two years.
Your post was sheer poetry!
Very sheer.
And thank you, SkyePuppy for the roll idea for my amazing Bread post. If there are any tricks, besides using a smaller glob of dough, let me know. Have you ever made toasted cheese sandwiches from home-made bread? It might give you another "Yowza" experience.
As Peter Heck's new press secretary, I want to announce that we are declining comment to al questions or accusations relating to or involving gymnastics. Other topics off limits: one man football, June Lee's school of dance, past trumpet solos, Greentown sesquicentennial vocal performances, his cardiovascular health, and his uncle. Thank you.
Chris,
On the bread/rolls question: I cut them up (at loaf-shaping time) with a serrated knife, because it's quicker. The main differences are final rise time and cooking time. If you want more details, let me know and I can email you.
Great post, Malott! We need a photo of your enthusiasm as you munch popcorn and cheer for the girls with ribbons on sticks!
This is one Olympic "sport" that I must confess eludes me. It's more a "dance" than any sport, is it not? It makes little sense to remove baseball from the Olympics (this is the last year), and yet keep this event which has even less sport about it than badmitton.
Sigh...now, for excitement, the Men's Gymnastics event was FANTASTIC last night! All the flexing of the muscles, the swinging around the bar and letting go and catching it and then sticking the landing...wow, now that's good stuff! I love the chalk all over the place too.
Oh yeah, and Michael Phelps in tights right after a swim ain't bad either! (mischevious smile)
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