Friday, August 04, 2006

A Declared War

Hizballah officially declared an open-ended war on the United States last night during a formal pre-recorded speech of its leader Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah, who said Israel was little more than a pawn in the hands of America.

There! I think everyone (even perhaps Democrats) can understand this. Hizbollah is a subsidiary of Iran and based on their track record I think we can take these people at their word. So, we are at war.

Maybe we need a nation-wide referendum on how to fight this war. It could be on the fall ballot.

Check one or more strategies:
1.____ Bomb the living crap out of Iran.
2.____ Bomb the living crap out of Syria.
3.____ Bomb the living crap out of anyone that threatens us.
4.____ Sit on our hands and wait for them to come for us.

(Democracy is good.)

Check a strategy:
1.____ Use "proportional" force against our enemies.
2.____ Use everything we've got and end this thing once and for all.

Check another strategy:
1.____ Use ground troops.
2.____ Just keep bombing until they cry uncle or they are all dead.

Check one or more plans:
1.____ Build a wall along our border with Mexico (pronounced meh-hee-ko)
2.____ Imprison employers who hire illegal aliens.
3.____ Systematically deport illegal aliens.
4.____ Close our borders to Muslim tourists, Muslim students, and Muslim immigrants.
5.____ Bomb the living crap out of Iran.

What good is it to be a super power when any big-mouthed tyrant with an AK-47 can threaten your peace and prosperity? I've had enough. How about you?

The radical Muslim world might come out with a line from Casablanca:
"From every corner of [Islam], thousands would rise to take our places. Even [Americans] can't kill that fast."



SkyePuppy said...

Proportional force against our enemies at this point would be to film a chubby guy saying how badly we're whupping our enemies, how badly we're going to keep on whupping our enemies, and asking them to please stop hurting us.

Bryan Alexander said...

We might as well thank Nasrallah for making it official what anyone paying attention already knew: that the war was really against the United States.

There was an article in the UK Times Online that quoted a Syrian Cabinet minister who "makes it clear that the war in Lebanon today is between 'the forces of Islam and America, with Israel acting as an American proxy.'"

If nothing else, maybe Nasrallah's "official" declaration of war will make it easier to wake up some people in this country.