Dear Al,

I raked up a bunch of leaves in my backyard today and deposited them in my garden. I stuffed in a few bunches of newspaper and set them ablaze.

The aroma of the burning leaves took me back to my childhood, before burning laws, when you were allowed to rake your leaves and burn them in your driveway or along the road. Fall was my favorite time of the year as a child, with high school football and crisp teperatures - and the smell of burning leaves in my neighborhood was a part of it. Today took me back to that, Al.

And today as the clouds of fragrant smoke filled my new neighborhood, just outside the city limits, I thought of you, Al. I thought of your pseudo scientists, your global warming scam, and your phony baloney carbon credits. I knew you would disapprove of what I was doing.

And I smiled.

So screw you, Al. You're an idiot, and I never liked you.

Sincerely,

Malott