Saturday, July 21, 2007

Malott Contemplates Diet

As you can see, I've perhaps super-sized one too many value meals. But in my defense, I always ask for a diet coke.

Lands' End no longer can fit me... Even the "Big and Tall Store" won't return my calls. However I am in negotiations with the Salem Tent and Awning Company and I am filled with hope. The worst part of my weight gain has been my inability to make it through my bathroom door, necessitating that I squat in the yard, and then run through the sprinklers to insure proper cleansing.

But the last straw was when a friend asked me if I was circumcised and I simply could not recall. So I had to send him looking for evidence of the procedure. In fact, he's been gone for two days now and I hope he's OK.

My sister (shown below) also struggles with her weight.




As for me... How will I address my problem, you ask? I will no longer frolic with pancakes after midnight. Other restrictions will follow if deemed necessary.

6 comments:

janice said...

Hey Chris, I saw that guy on a TLC or Discovery Channel show.

He blames his poor health (aka obesity) on the time he spent in the US working, illegally, and gorging on fast food.

When he returned to Mexico his mother took over where Pizza Hut and McDonalds left off.

Bekah said...

I'm watching a movie marathon today while I work on my niece's scrapbook. I decided to multitask and eat dinner WHILE reading blogs.

Of course at home, I have dial up, so it takes a second for pictures to load.

Thankfully I was almost DONE with dinner....

...and now I have this very great need to hit the elliptical for a while.

Jacob said...

Ha, obesity is funny.

All_I_Can_Stands said...

Cracks me up when fat people complain their clothes cost more than smaller sizes. I guess cost of goods is not their strongpoint.

How do people get so big? When I gained a few lbs after my metab slowed down at age 28, I said "this far and no further". Sure, I have trouble losing it, but I don't gain any more.

Tsofah said...

This is sad, truly. I can identify to an extent. For myself, it's isn't a Christian thing to make fun at such. That's just me.

I gained weight when I was pregnant, then lost most of it after delivery. When my knees were injured and the docs didn't know the cause, I had meds (prednisone) that caused me to gain weight. Being limited in movement also hurt my weight. Then I saw the right kind of doc, dx'd with fibromalagia and monitored for Lupus, and instructed in phys therapy in pool. If I had not found this doc, and if I had not been able to find a fitness facility with a swimming pool, it's an easy guess what I would have looked like. As it is, I miss the size 6 I was in my BC days. (That's "before child).

I guess I'm saying it's easy to be critical unless you've walked more than a mile in someone else's shoes. Honestly, I feel sorry for these folks! They probably don't feel too good about themselves, either. SIGH.

Tsofah said...

Sorry if I'm being a downer. Have a very close friend on the west coast who is losing her fight with stomach cancer. Just a bit bummed. :-/