Happy Birthday U.S.A

Here I attach a "pitcher" from the Clinton Library.

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont , Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth . One of my sisters Lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing Marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Dallas .

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview . She now is only a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for President?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation