Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Summer Colds and Brinks Home Security Commercials

I am so sick. Due to the coldest July of my lifetime, (Bite me, Al) I have a summer cold. My nose is running, and my cough-irritated sore throat feels like it's bleeding. The lab is short of techs, as it often is during the summer, so staying home is not an option.

I could handle all this if it were not for The Brinks Home Security Commercials. You know, where the goon smashes through the door of the home and scares the people, usually women, half to death? Answer this: Why are the goons always white? I am offended! Stereotyping is an ugly thing... And it's hard enough for me to make friends.

How about some truth in advertising? There is a race of people who just might possibly, once in a while, maybe be involved in crime... That's right! I want to see some Oriental guys break down a few doors!

I'd feel better then.

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13 comments:

Bekah said...

I'm sorry you're sick! That's no fun. :( But applause to you for going to work despite the illness. Oh how I wish more people understood the importance of that.

I am sorry I don't know any appropriate persons to recreate the Brinks commercial for you (though when I first read it, I read the word "goon" as "groom" and was very confused). But if there's anything else you need, I'd be happy to bring it!

And as a side note, can I just say I'm all around sick of the cash 4 gold commercials?

7/28/2009 7:12 AM
Malott said...

B,

I must say that I'm tempted to fake a near-death sickness and go through your blog's recipes... pick out a couple... have you nurse me back to health and maybe borderline obesity. But obviously if I can work, I can open a can of soup... Sick, just not sick enough to take advantage... This time.

I despise all commercials... But I really hate the male and female "personal" items that once were too personal to sell on TV.

7/28/2009 7:53 AM
janice said...

I'm with you Chris. I've been nursing a summer cold for 2 weeks.

And as far as the Brinks commercials, I'm a stickler for some type of proper speech. When the guy from Brinks calls, the idiot who now has to replace the entire doorjam, says "someone just TRIED to break into my house". HELLO! They DID break in, not TRIED!

Idiots!

Sorry for the rant, must be the meds.....

7/28/2009 9:15 AM
Bekah said...

I would happily cook for you...and the ability to work does not necessarily correlate with the ability to open a can of soup. After all, working so hard, under such personal duress, likely drains you so that you lack the strength to open a can of soup. At least that's how I feel when I'm sick.

7/28/2009 9:21 AM
Malott said...

Janice,

2 WEEKS!!!?! Oh thank you. That is so encouraging.
:)
Brinks: better living through fear mongering.


Bekah,

Last night I fixed homemade chicken soup. I put the chicken on to boil, and sat down for a bit. Found a potato, peeled it, and sat down for a bit. Diced it, put it in the soup, and sat down for a bit. Looked for celery in the fridge, found it, and sat down for a bit. Cut the celery, added it to the soup with salt and pepper, and sat down for a bit. Smashed some garlic, put it in the soup, and sat down for a bit.

Cooking when you're sick is such a treat. It will be easier tonight because all I have to do is turn on the heat.

You know, as a couple of singles, we could make a "sick-bed pact"... so if one of us has a fever, say... over 100, the other has to be on call for trips to the pharmacy, cooking, doing dishes, light house cleaning, sponge baths, and trips to the doctor.

You should probably read the above paragraph carefully before you sign anything.

7/28/2009 11:22 AM
SkyePuppy said...

Bekah,

Even without the sponge-bath provision, I'd advise you against making that deal. I've seen movies where little boys (it's always boys) stir their thermometer in their hot tea to make the temperature higher. Since everyone knows that men are absolute babies when they're sick, that puts Chris in the thermometer-in-the-tea category at the slightest sniffle. You'd come out at the losing end of this proposition over time.

Run, don't walk, away!

7/28/2009 12:29 PM
SkyePuppy said...

Oh, yes. Chris.

My sincerest sympathies. I hope you're wearing a mask at work and calling, "Unclean!" at every opportunity, so you don't spread your virulent pestilence to your co-workers.

As a well person, I'm hoping that my contact with your blog won't give me any germs...

7/28/2009 12:33 PM
Malott said...

Skyepuppy,

Thank you. I'm keeping my distance from the immuno-compromised and our patients in general, but my fellow employees are on their own. But I am starting to sound like James Earl Jones, and will be making several elicit phone calls when I arrive home.

And thanks for looking out for Bekah. I suspect her father might not approve of the sponge-bath provision... I know he doesn't approve of dancing...

7/28/2009 12:56 PM
Bekah said...

Chris - I'm game for the pact. And you'll get the easy end of it as I do not believe in trips to the doctor! So basically you'd only have to bring me chocolate and the remote. And repeat every five minutes, "I hope I'm never as sick as you are."

Skyepuppy - I hate to admit this to you, but as a child, I was known to spill my liquid medicine under my bed, clean it up with the washcloth from my forehead, refold said washcloth, and declare that I had taken my medicine. Bad Bekah. But despite my little evil side emerging, I can, upon occasion, be sympathetic toward the ill. Just don't tell anyone in my office. My strict no-missing-work policy makes them think I'm the biggest of all the meanies.

7/28/2009 1:13 PM
Malott said...

Well it's 3PM, I'm home, and I'm going to bed.

I have to get up at 2:30 AM and go back to work. Yikes.

Thanks for your warm wishes!

7/28/2009 2:49 PM
Christina said...

Have you considered swine flu?

Just something to think about.

But seriously, I hope you kick this cold out ASAP. Having put up with way too many colds/viruses over the last 9 months, I know how miserable it is.

And here's hoping you're not infected with pig.

7/28/2009 5:15 PM
Tsofah said...

Oh Malott, those summer cold are extra miserable! I hope you feel better soon. I had that hit me on the way back from Boston and I kept begging G-d to not let me die.

Your post, I must say, was really fun.

I also agree about the "personal ads" for stuff - not cool.

Bekah, I hate those commercials too.

That and the "Sham Wow" commercials.

Skye: Good call on the sponge bath situation.

7/28/2009 6:06 PM
Tsofah said...

Hey Malott - just checking in to see how you are doing. Hope you are feeling better!

7/29/2009 5:15 PM

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