Obama Cancels Election

Washington AP-- In a bold move on Thursday, President Barack Obama cancelled the congressional elections of 2010, citing economic reasons. Speaking from the Rose Garden, Obama stated, "The nation's economic woes are much too grave for us to risk an irrational and emotional move by voters to change the makeup of Congress at this critical juncture. Therefore, the elections of 2010 will be placed on hold."

Asked if he felt that the country would be stable enough for the presidential election of 2012, Obama responded by saying, "I think it's much too early to make that decision, but my administration will, when the time comes and with the support of Congress, choose the path that will best serve to move us towards our goal of peace, security, and prosperity."

When asked about the critics of this decision, Obama replied, "Yes, there are those reactionaries that place tradition above the good of the people, but I do not stand with them. And to right-wing terrorists who would move to disrupt and threaten our peace and progress I'll say this: My administration will not hesitate to bring the full weight of the federal government to bear on those who preach hate and sedition."

At this point the press conference was interrupted by a five minute standing ovation from the White House Press Corps.

Acknowledging the support of the press, Obama continued, "You, the members of the Fourth Estate will play an important part in our efforts, and I am depending on you to get the good word out to the people. But again, there are those in your profession who do not share your scruples, your ethics, those who would use their voice to stir unrest and dampen hope. Let me state unequivocally, this subversive interference for political gain will not be tolerated. It is a privilege, not a right, to report the news and comment on the public airwaves, and the irresponsible misuse of those airwaves shall not continue."

Obama then stressed that free and fair elections would return to the United States as soon as the present crisis has past.

You can't make this stuff up.

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