Loading Toilet Tissue
Haven't blogged much lately. Been studying my navel... Takes all my time.
But there is a confession I must make that is long overdue: If I use a public restroom, or the restroom in someone else's house... Whether it's family, friend, or stranger... And if the toilet paper rolls out from the bottom and not from over the top... I change it.
Oh sure, a well adjusted man would just mind his own business... But I figure - The poor souls probably don't know any better. Besides, how can anyone be happy living like that?
So if I should happen to visit your home, you could save me some time in the toilet by following the helpful diagrams below.
Correct:
Incorrect:
There will be an exam on Friday.
16 comments:
I 100% agree with you and it bugs me when I am at someone's house and they have a backwards TP situation going on.
HOWEVER...at my house, I have a free-standing TP holder, because there's not one built into the wall. If I swing it around to walk past it to get to the washer, the side that then becomes closest to the toilet rolls from the underside. So after every laundry session, it's wrong and I have to swing it back around again.
Not that any of this usually matters. Braeya is currently in an "unroll the entire roll of TP onto the floor" stage, so usually it's just in a heap. Or hidden out of her reach entirely.
Years ago, Dear Abby said that the correct way is over the top and not from the bottom. Looks like your TP sensibilities are by the book. Pity those who dwell in ignorance.
Wrong Wrong WRONG! You're all backwards! The paper has to come from the back. Everyone knows that!
But my learned opinion, after years of experience, is that it matters less which way you do it, as long as you ALWAYS do it the same way. That eliminates (pun) excess time wasted in trying to find the end of the roll -- because if you're rolling it the wrong way, the end will never just pop up.
Though I agree with your assessment of the proper way to load a toilet paper roll onto the dispenser, I'm more intrigued by your choice of wallpaper.
Do you ever find yourself breaking out into a rousing rendition of "I feel pretty" while sitting on the can?
Just curious.
Bekah,
I think this demands a picture posted on your blog... Because I simply can't imagine the device you've described. I understand the demon kitty part, though.
Skyepuppy,
...Always the sophisticate with the documentation... That's why your blogger friends appreciate you.
Mojo,
Even though you are WRONG!... Your plea for consistency is remarkably sage advice.
And lawyer boy...
You are a very brave man... Considering the pictures I have at my disposal...
Your wallpapers were chosen either by:
a) someone's blind grandma
b) a flaming faggot.
Malott:
You have just settled a long-standing disagreement between my hubby and I!
Tanks! Tanks a lot! :-)
The TP has to go over the top, every other way is wrong.
I've found myself changing the rolls in my friends home only if I plan to spend the night.
Also, it's been my experience that liberal democrats have the rolls installed incorrectly.
Jacob,
The grandma I bought this house from was sighted and heterosexual... And probably tasteful for her generation... But the wallpaper is not something I would pick.
Tsofah,
I just hope I came down on your side of the argument...
Janice,
I suspect communism is behind the under-roll faction. I'm comforted that you're as "anal" about this topic as I am.
Also, it's been my experience that liberal democrats have the rolls installed incorrectly.
I know everyone has worked out their own reasons for the way they roll, and most people's are quite elaborate, but here are mine for having the paper come out the back. It's all based around which method requires the least energy.
If you have the paper come out the back, then:
- the unrolling motion is limited to a quick upward swipe at the roll, whereas the other way requires an upward motion and then a swipe at the roll -- wasted motion.
- gravity and torque work together to wrench the end of the paper away from the roll so it's easier to find, whereas the other way relies more on the torque of the spinning roll to loosen the paper
- air turbulence from the paper spinning inside the part of the holder that's usually installed in the wall helps loosen the paper.
I plan to go back to college and study physics so that I can definitively and scientifically prove that my way is correct. You'll all see!
PS: Malott, Jacob's got a point. You do live there -- so you're responsible for the level of gayness, not your granny. Maybe you should break out the scraper and take out that wallpaper
But wouldn't that make him gayer, replacing the wallpaper to prove his sexuality? Unless it was something with a redneck theme, like NASCAR or some shit.
Hey - what about Jesus-themed wallpaper in your bog? Is that blasphemy, taking a dump whilst looking at pictures of a crucified Jesus?
Umm, I won't take offence to the NASCAR slap, Jacob.
It's in my profile....
But wouldn't that make him gayer
More obviously homophobic, maybe, less complex, but anything that gets rid of that Dolores Umbridge wallpaper is worth it.
Mojo...
Air turbulence?
:)
Mojo...
Air turbulence?
:)
Malott, you got something to say about my theory? Then say it. Either sh!t or get off the pot... ;-)
Isn't it amazing what topics provoke the most comments?
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