Thursday, March 04, 2010

Why My Life Is Better Than Yours
Reason #4

Every day, people I barely know stop me on the street and ask me... They say, "Malott, your life is obviously better than mine. Can you tell me why?" Usually I just push them out of my way, especially if they're old, female, and feeble.

But there are times when I take a moment and try to pass on a tiny bit of perfection to those less worthy.

This is one of those times.

Reason #4: I make the best Hash Brown Casserole on Planet Earth.

I have faults. No, really. But I've never been accused of bragging about my cooking. When someone cooks as well as I do and brags about it... Well... It's just vulgar.

Try to concentrate.

In a medium casserole dish, at least three inches deep, put in a handful of thawed hash browns. Cover them with a layer of shredded mild cheddar and diced onions and mix. Then shlop in a big spoonful of sour cream and gently press the sour cream into the dry stuff. Then take a thick slice of real butter, cut it in half, and place it on top. Dash with salt. Repeat until layers reach the top of the casserole dish.
Bake at 350 until it's done (hot and bubbly, maybe 45 min.)

I would give you measurements, but measuring is sooooo pedestrian and frankly beneath me. I can tell you the mistake most stupid people would probably make is using too little cheese and onions. Salt should not exceed 1/2 teaspoon.

I hope this dish brings a moment of sunlight to your dark little world. I hope it adds a scintilla of joy to your meager and pointless lives.



Christina said...

Well, since I can't say that I have ever had your hashbrown casserole, I'll allow you to continue believing that yours is indeed the best.

However....I make a pretty mean one too. Mine sounds very similar, but has an added ingredient...cream of chicken soup. You mix the cream of chicken soup and salt, pepper and sour cream and cheese and layer.

It might just put mine over the edge.

Oh and one mistake I'll never make...using too little cheese. Cheese, much like bacon, makes everything better.

Malott said...

If Andrew likes it, I probably would too. Andrew has always displayed great taste in food and women.

Grammy said...

Clearly a quality of life issue! I can't believe you're only up to #4 in the list. Potatoes are the best food in all the world. If I could eat only one thing for the rest of my life it would be mashed potatoes.

Tsofah said...

This recipe sounds great!

Bekah said...

It sounds amazing...kind of wishing I had some right now, to be honest. But I'm sniffing and I don't smell anything cooking in the kitchen.

THe cats really aren't good for much are they?