Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Asparagus and Urine

I read over at Skyepuppy's that Bekah hates asparagus. I think I know why.

When some people eat asparagus, it makes their urine smell as if they have a urinary tract infection... Or UTI as we say in Greentown.

When we used to do employee physicals here at the hospital... Physicals which included a urinalysis... We would insist that the cafeteria not serve asparagus that day. The smell would have driven us out of the lab.

But Bekah, just in case it's the taste that you don't like... Follow this procedure.

Cook your asparagus in a sauce pan with a little water. Drain all but a little bit of the water, and add a few slices of Velveeta or Kraft American cheese. Mmm Mmm!

This also works with frozen Fordhook lima beans. I hated lima beans until my sister-in-law fixed them with cheese sauce.

....

11 comments:

Bekah said...

Chris, you never cease to make me laugh when I least expect it. Originally I was going to write something about a carrot truck, but I actually do like carrots. I think asparagus is best left to being a Veggie Tales character. :) And now you've given me one more EXCELLENT reason to not eat it! But if I do - there will be more than a few slices of cheese hiding it. :)

For the record - can't do lima beans either. It's not so much a taste thing as it is a texture thing. Too gritty.

SkyePuppy said...

Bekah,

I'm with you on the lima beans. No way. No how. Not even with cheese.

Tsofah said...

Gasp! First you can Bob the Tomato. Now you pick on Junior Asparagus. Next think you know, poor Larry the Cucumber will be on your list! Not even superhero Larry-Boy can defend Madam Blueberry in this Malott blogosphere! I'll refrain from singing the Cheezburger song...but, be warned! I'm humming the song about Waterbuffalo! Uh oh, tooo late!

"Everyone's got a water buffalo. Yours is fast and (cough, cough, choke as hook pulls me from the stage) exiting here ---->

Christina said...

Now see, as a self-professed veggie-despiser, I have to admit to liking asparagus a little more than most green veggies. I love cucumbers, I tolerate lettuce with lots of stuff covering it up, and I will eat broccoli, peas and green beans just to say that I have eaten some veggies, but not because I like them. Asparagus would rate up there with lettuce. It's just okay.

I must confess to never having eaten enough of it to discover the urine odor though. Nor do I plan to!

Malott said...

You know... I spend my life trying to help you people... I give... And I give... I invest my wisdom and culinary genius in your drab little lives...

And what do I get in return?

I get public humiliation and Veggie-Tale songs.

Fine.

But I predict one day you'll buy frozen fordhook limas and you'll prepare them with cheese as I described... And you'll trick a youngster in your family into trying them by calling them turtle beans... And a new family tradition will result.

And you'll rush to thank me but I'll br dead or something, and it will be too late.

I hope you can live with that.

Bekah said...

Yeah - about feeding veggies to the kids...

I babysat in high school and this one family was quite a bit healthier in their food habits than I was (or am or ever will be). One time the parents left me with dinner cooking on the stove so I could serve it to the kids after the left. Know what the vegetable was that day? Brussel sprouts. With cheese. But the world hasn't made enough cheese to let a high school student successfully serve brussel sprouts to a 2 year old and 4 year old. They hated them and I didn't blame them. I didn't require that they ate them. The salary was good, but not that good.

Fortunately, this isn't an issue when raising cats. Wouldn't you agree, Christina???

Tsofah said...

Malott:

I only share the very bestest of Veggie Tale info because (deep breath) I am hopeful it will drive you ....uh, to send me some of those tomatoes! ;-)

Malott said...

Tsofah,

Dear sister in Christ...

If you come to my house, I'll break open a quart of tomatoes... And I'll prepare lima beans in cheese sauce... And you'll never be the same.

;)

All_I_Can_Stands said...

There is not a veggie that I do not like.

As for asparagus, the cafeteria at work sometimes serves a very tasty asparagus soup. I sometimes yield knowing the price I and those around me will pay later that afternoon...

Tsofah said...

Malott:

Hubby says to ask:

"Why did all my yellow pear tomatoes bust open this year?" and "Why did the tomatoes stop getting ripe?"

Malott said...

I've only grown yellow pear tomatoes once... So I'm no expert. Sometimes it seems after a heavy rain my thin skinned tomatoes will split.

I've found that as my plants get older the tomatoes go bad in several different ways before they get the chance to ripen... Other than that, I don't know. A lot of it has to do with moisture and temperatures - my theory.