The Gathering Gloom

In the Democrat Cloak Room..

Howard: (sigh) My mother warned me about weeks like this.

Joe: It's the best of times and the worst of times.

Howard: Uh huh... Well said Biden, but I think that's from A Tale of Two Cities.

Joe: Oh... Sorry...

Harry: It's not fair, you know. You work your fingers to the bone. You stay up half the night figuring just the right spin. You put in the time. You slander. You malign. You obstruct. You do everything right.

Ted: Life is like a bottle of scotch.... Uh... You uh get to the bottom of the bottle... Uh...

Nancy: Come on, guys! Cheer up! We just need to get our ideas out there! We should call a press conference and...

Howard: Politics turn on a dime. Things were looking great... Then al-Zarqawi gets nailed. Then President Bush looks Presidential going to meet with Iraqi leaders inside Iraq. Then Evil-Karl gets exonerated in our bogus Valerie Plame story. And I thought we finally had him. Who called off the dogs?

Robert: I have a little dog, a little Maltese dog, Billy Byrd.

Nancy: (sulking) You guys never listen to me when I talk.

Ted: Uh... Let's all head on over to the Hawk and Dove Bar. Uh... I'll drive.

Hillary: Great timing on the "Take America Back" Conference. We looked like a bunch of lame @#&$# unpatriotic idiots.

Nancy: It's like I'm not even here. I could say anything.

Harry: Our best stuff isn't working. The phone-tap accusations are going nowhere. I think the stupid fly-over hicks like having their phones tapped.

Nancy: I have Ebola Virus and I'm very contagious.

Howard: Our biggest problem is the war on terror. It's hard to throw a wrench into the thing and still look tough on terror. And if I hear another story about soldiers being applauded at an airport, I'll ralph my cookies. Of Course... I... I support the troops!

Everyone: (snickering) Mmm Hmm.

Joe: Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.

Hillary: I think @#$%# Churchill already said that, Joe.

Joe: Oh... Sorry...

Harry: We definitely need to talk up the immigration thing. That gets the entire Republican base honked off and depressed.

Nancy: I'm not wearing a bra.

Howard: Immigration is good. It's a win-win strategy. The rednecks get mad and stay home this fall and we get more voters. Can you say muy bien?

Harry: I'm still depressed, Howard. What if the good news starts filtering out of Iraq? What if October comes and they get Bin Laden?

Nancy: You wanna lose that hand, Ted?

Hillary: Oooh... Don't even think it, Harry. If we win in Iraq, we lose in the fall. And we need an election win. We're starting to look like a bunch of @#$%# losers!

Robert: I have a little dog, a little Maltese dog, Billy Byrd.

Joe: If we win in Iraq, we lose in the fall. And we need...

Hillary: I just said that, Joe!

Joe: Oh... Sorry...

Harry: Yep... We need a win. The Judiciary is all we got.... And the press.... And John McCain...

Howard: Awe geez, here comes that nitwit Kerry.

everyone scatters