Sunday, March 14, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Wicked Women I Work With
As a new feature on Malott's Blog, I will be presenting profiles of women I work with or have worked with in the past. I'll only do this when I have an accompanying picture.
T.M.
The picture below is about ten years old. T.M. brought a camera with her on her last day at work. She put her arm around my waist and said, "We need our picture taken," held the camera at arm's length, and snapped this off.
As a new feature on Malott's Blog, I will be presenting profiles of women I work with or have worked with in the past. I'll only do this when I have an accompanying picture.
T.M.
The picture below is about ten years old. T.M. brought a camera with her on her last day at work. She put her arm around my waist and said, "We need our picture taken," held the camera at arm's length, and snapped this off.
T.M. was absolutely beautiful. She was stunning. And she liked me. She thought I was interesting. She knew I found her attractive, and one of her favorite things to do was to come up to me at work and press her body against mine until I became disoriented. It didn't take long.
You might think T.M. was a little crazy. But considering her family background, she was really quite the success story. When I knew her she had a young child, no husband, and parents that borrowed money from her.
I've only seen her a couple times since this picture was taken. But I do get an occasional phone call from her prospective employers. I was never her boss or supervisor but she still lists me as a reference. This is how I describe her over the phone: "T.M. is very smart... A quick study. She is a good worker. She is very capable and everyone liked her. I wish we had her back."
I miss T.M.
....
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Quote for the Day
"Part of the undertow in the coming election is going to be President Obama's leadership, and the Republicans will make a case... a version of, 'Listen, he's a nice person, he's very articulate... but he couldn't sell watermelons on a highway with a state trooper flagging down traffic.'"
--Dan Rather... on Chris Matthew's "Hardball"
....
"Part of the undertow in the coming election is going to be President Obama's leadership, and the Republicans will make a case... a version of, 'Listen, he's a nice person, he's very articulate... but he couldn't sell watermelons on a highway with a state trooper flagging down traffic.'"
--Dan Rather... on Chris Matthew's "Hardball"
....
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
The Milk of Human Kindness
MARCH 8--A Kentucky woman is facing a felony assault charge for allegedly squirting breast milk into the face of a female jailer. After Toni Tramel, 31, was arrested last Thursday for public intoxication, she was transported to the Daviess County Detention Center in Owensboro. While there, Tramel was directed to change into a jail uniform. But the uncooperative suspect was "too intoxicated to complete the task on her own," so Officer Lula Brown sought to aid her. While in the jail's shower room, Brown told Tramel that she "needed to take her shirt and bra off" before changing into a green jail smock. That is when Tramel "took off her bra, grabbed her breast and squirted breast milk, hitting me in the face and neck region," reported Brown. Tramel attempted a second lactation assault, "but was unsuccessful," added Brown. Tramel is now being held in the Daviess County lockup on $5000 bond. As for Brown, a jail press release noted that the officer was successfully able to "clean the bio-hazard off her."
You know, there are many things a sensitive man such as I could say about this story, but I suppose what interests me most is the concept of using a loaded breast as a weapon. Could they be used in robberies? Who knows what I might willingly do if I had a breast held to my head.
And is there a new Olympic event here? Marksmanship. Style.
My imagination runneth over.
....
MARCH 8--A Kentucky woman is facing a felony assault charge for allegedly squirting breast milk into the face of a female jailer. After Toni Tramel, 31, was arrested last Thursday for public intoxication, she was transported to the Daviess County Detention Center in Owensboro. While there, Tramel was directed to change into a jail uniform. But the uncooperative suspect was "too intoxicated to complete the task on her own," so Officer Lula Brown sought to aid her. While in the jail's shower room, Brown told Tramel that she "needed to take her shirt and bra off" before changing into a green jail smock. That is when Tramel "took off her bra, grabbed her breast and squirted breast milk, hitting me in the face and neck region," reported Brown. Tramel attempted a second lactation assault, "but was unsuccessful," added Brown. Tramel is now being held in the Daviess County lockup on $5000 bond. As for Brown, a jail press release noted that the officer was successfully able to "clean the bio-hazard off her."
You know, there are many things a sensitive man such as I could say about this story, but I suppose what interests me most is the concept of using a loaded breast as a weapon. Could they be used in robberies? Who knows what I might willingly do if I had a breast held to my head.
And is there a new Olympic event here? Marksmanship. Style.
My imagination runneth over.
....
Saturday, March 06, 2010
I'm Itching to Garden
In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson
But when you're my age you think about gardening.
However I must pause and say that a majority of my relationships found their beginning in the spring. It's just something about this time of year... Women seem to come out of the woodwork... Bathed, perfumed, and ready to rut.
But I'll be busy making furrows in the soil and tenderly placing young onion plants into its moist darkness. I'll be on my knees making rows of greens... Spinach, collards, and kale. I'll lovingly plant wide rows of peas, a patch of garlic, and about 6 feet of leaf lettuce.
The rest of my garden will wait till May, but somehow my spring garden is my favorite... My love.
As a very wise poet once wrote:
I'll keep an eye out down the lane this spring
for some seasoned lass a'strolling,
whose fertile valley needs tending
Still, I'm itching to garden.
--Alfred, Lord Malott
....
In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson
But when you're my age you think about gardening.
However I must pause and say that a majority of my relationships found their beginning in the spring. It's just something about this time of year... Women seem to come out of the woodwork... Bathed, perfumed, and ready to rut.
But I'll be busy making furrows in the soil and tenderly placing young onion plants into its moist darkness. I'll be on my knees making rows of greens... Spinach, collards, and kale. I'll lovingly plant wide rows of peas, a patch of garlic, and about 6 feet of leaf lettuce.
The rest of my garden will wait till May, but somehow my spring garden is my favorite... My love.
As a very wise poet once wrote:
I'll keep an eye out down the lane this spring
for some seasoned lass a'strolling,
whose fertile valley needs tending
Still, I'm itching to garden.
--Alfred, Lord Malott
....
Friday, March 05, 2010
Finding Doreen
Chapter 2: Her Life is Better Than Mine
I still get an occasional email from Doreen, my college girlfriend, though she still won't be my Facebook Friend. The girl obviously has her standards.
I've learned that Doreen has had a more interesting life than I have had. A better life. She sent me the picture below, showing her vacationing at Myrtle Beach with Roberts Blossom, the scary neighbor in Home Alone, and Joan Allen, the star of Face Off and The Bourne Supremacy.
Wait, I'm not done whining.
Doreen has two great looking, smart, and talented kids. She has a husband who works with special needs children... A freaking Saint. (Swell.) He's the very same guy that poisoned her mind and stole her away from me. Did I tell you that she has a better job than I do? I helped this girl get through freshman chemistry!
Today I'll drive my octogenarian parents to Sam's Club, which will be the highlight of my day. Well... No it won't... I just remembered, I'm going to the dentist, too.
....
Chapter 2: Her Life is Better Than Mine
I still get an occasional email from Doreen, my college girlfriend, though she still won't be my Facebook Friend. The girl obviously has her standards.
I've learned that Doreen has had a more interesting life than I have had. A better life. She sent me the picture below, showing her vacationing at Myrtle Beach with Roberts Blossom, the scary neighbor in Home Alone, and Joan Allen, the star of Face Off and The Bourne Supremacy.
Wait... Maybe that's her dad and her sister. Not sure.
And no, I don't have permission to post this picture. Nor will I seek it.
Thirty-five years ago Doreen was securely under my thumb. I was the big Cahuna in her life. Numero Uno. The Man. The Big Cheese. Now, she is more travelled than I. She has a better job than I. And she has certainly kept her looks better than I have.Wait, I'm not done whining.
Doreen has two great looking, smart, and talented kids. She has a husband who works with special needs children... A freaking Saint. (Swell.) He's the very same guy that poisoned her mind and stole her away from me. Did I tell you that she has a better job than I do? I helped this girl get through freshman chemistry!
Today I'll drive my octogenarian parents to Sam's Club, which will be the highlight of my day. Well... No it won't... I just remembered, I'm going to the dentist, too.
....
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Why My Life Is Better Than Yours
Reason #4
Every day, people I barely know stop me on the street and ask me... They say, "Malott, your life is obviously better than mine. Can you tell me why?" Usually I just push them out of my way, especially if they're old, female, and feeble.
But there are times when I take a moment and try to pass on a tiny bit of perfection to those less worthy.
This is one of those times.
Reason #4: I make the best Hash Brown Casserole on Planet Earth.
I have faults. No, really. But I've never been accused of bragging about my cooking. When someone cooks as well as I do and brags about it... Well... It's just vulgar.
Try to concentrate.
In a medium casserole dish, at least three inches deep, put in a handful of thawed hash browns. Cover them with a layer of shredded mild cheddar and diced onions and mix. Then shlop in a big spoonful of sour cream and gently press the sour cream into the dry stuff. Then take a thick slice of real butter, cut it in half, and place it on top. Dash with salt. Repeat until layers reach the top of the casserole dish.
Bake at 350 until it's done (hot and bubbly, maybe 45 min.)
I would give you measurements, but measuring is sooooo pedestrian and frankly beneath me. I can tell you the mistake most stupid people would probably make is using too little cheese and onions. Salt should not exceed 1/2 teaspoon.
I hope this dish brings a moment of sunlight to your dark little world. I hope it adds a scintilla of joy to your meager and pointless lives.
....
Reason #4
Every day, people I barely know stop me on the street and ask me... They say, "Malott, your life is obviously better than mine. Can you tell me why?" Usually I just push them out of my way, especially if they're old, female, and feeble.
But there are times when I take a moment and try to pass on a tiny bit of perfection to those less worthy.
This is one of those times.
Reason #4: I make the best Hash Brown Casserole on Planet Earth.
I have faults. No, really. But I've never been accused of bragging about my cooking. When someone cooks as well as I do and brags about it... Well... It's just vulgar.
Try to concentrate.
In a medium casserole dish, at least three inches deep, put in a handful of thawed hash browns. Cover them with a layer of shredded mild cheddar and diced onions and mix. Then shlop in a big spoonful of sour cream and gently press the sour cream into the dry stuff. Then take a thick slice of real butter, cut it in half, and place it on top. Dash with salt. Repeat until layers reach the top of the casserole dish.
Bake at 350 until it's done (hot and bubbly, maybe 45 min.)
I would give you measurements, but measuring is sooooo pedestrian and frankly beneath me. I can tell you the mistake most stupid people would probably make is using too little cheese and onions. Salt should not exceed 1/2 teaspoon.
I hope this dish brings a moment of sunlight to your dark little world. I hope it adds a scintilla of joy to your meager and pointless lives.
....
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Ryan Sticks It to Obama
We have some strong disagreements on the numbers,” President Obama said after Rep. Paul Ryan (R., Wis.) concluded his devastating critique of the Democrats’ budget claims, “but I don’t want to get too bogged down.” In the ensuing debate, what became clear is that the Democrats just don’t have an answer to Ryan’s arguments. They ducked, dodged, and changed the subject repeatedly, because Ryan’s numbers themselves are unimpeachable.
The Democrats are touting an estimate from the Congressional Budget Office that their health-care bill would reduce the deficit by around $130 billion over the next ten years. What Ryan pointed out — and what no Democrat even attempted to counter — is that this is because the legislation front-loads tax hikes and Medicare cuts and defers costs, forcing the CBO to score ten years of offsets with only six years of spending. Looked at on a level playing field, the true ten-year cost of the bill is $2.3 trillion rather than $950 billion, Ryan said.
Then he brought up another gimmick: The bill is full of double-counting. “Savings” are counted as offsets for new health-care spending and at the same time set aside to pay for future entitlements. For instance, the Democrats claim $52 billion in offsets as a result of increasing Social Security payroll-tax revenues. But these dollars are already claimed for future Social Security beneficiaries. They can’t pay for both. The Democrats take another $72 billion in premiums intended to fund a new long-term-care program and count them as offsets for other spending. Ryan pointed out that Senate Budget Committee chairman Kent Conrad has called this “a Ponzi scheme of the first order, the kind of thing that Bernie Madoff would have been proud of.”
And the quote of the day was when Ryan said this:
"I have to tell you the American people are engaged, and if you think they want a government takeover of healthcare, I would respectively submit that you are not listening to them."
Sweet.
I was one who believed the Republicans should not be involved in this health care summit farce. I was wrong.
Ryan is a stud.
....
We have some strong disagreements on the numbers,” President Obama said after Rep. Paul Ryan (R., Wis.) concluded his devastating critique of the Democrats’ budget claims, “but I don’t want to get too bogged down.” In the ensuing debate, what became clear is that the Democrats just don’t have an answer to Ryan’s arguments. They ducked, dodged, and changed the subject repeatedly, because Ryan’s numbers themselves are unimpeachable.
The Democrats are touting an estimate from the Congressional Budget Office that their health-care bill would reduce the deficit by around $130 billion over the next ten years. What Ryan pointed out — and what no Democrat even attempted to counter — is that this is because the legislation front-loads tax hikes and Medicare cuts and defers costs, forcing the CBO to score ten years of offsets with only six years of spending. Looked at on a level playing field, the true ten-year cost of the bill is $2.3 trillion rather than $950 billion, Ryan said.
Then he brought up another gimmick: The bill is full of double-counting. “Savings” are counted as offsets for new health-care spending and at the same time set aside to pay for future entitlements. For instance, the Democrats claim $52 billion in offsets as a result of increasing Social Security payroll-tax revenues. But these dollars are already claimed for future Social Security beneficiaries. They can’t pay for both. The Democrats take another $72 billion in premiums intended to fund a new long-term-care program and count them as offsets for other spending. Ryan pointed out that Senate Budget Committee chairman Kent Conrad has called this “a Ponzi scheme of the first order, the kind of thing that Bernie Madoff would have been proud of.”
And the quote of the day was when Ryan said this:
"I have to tell you the American people are engaged, and if you think they want a government takeover of healthcare, I would respectively submit that you are not listening to them."
Sweet.
I was one who believed the Republicans should not be involved in this health care summit farce. I was wrong.
Ryan is a stud.
....
Paul Ryan: Hiding spending doesn't reduce spending.
This guy is -very- good. This young congressman looks The Chosen One straight in the eye and says he (Obama) isn't listening to the American people.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Nothing to Blog About
In these troubled and difficult times I turn to self-promoting pictures. This does not make me proud, but what are you going to do... Fire me?
This is the last picture that was taken of me with my siblings... my brother and sister who never really appreciated or respected me. I think I was in my mid-thirties. Lisa, my lovely sister still feigns love, but I sense that I am nothing more to her than a nagging embarrassment. Matt, my brother, whose ass I perennially believed the sun shown through, continues to treat me with the most cruel disdain.
These are pictures I took this morning... In my jammies and later using the incredibly high tech "Dirty-Bathroom-Mirror" Photography... truly amazing! 
In particularl I like the one where I seem to be looking out on life's landscape while thinking deep thoughts.
Blogging times will return to my pathetic existence... But for now... This is all I have to offer... Live with it!
I face these droughts from time to time... Skyepuppy and Janice have recently been derelict in their duties... Christina has offered little of her brilliant opinions... The sweet and lovely Bekah has continued her efforts, but so many of my haunts seem to have found something better to do than blather on... The blathering that I love so much.
In these troubled and difficult times I turn to self-promoting pictures. This does not make me proud, but what are you going to do... Fire me?
This is the last picture that was taken of me with my siblings... my brother and sister who never really appreciated or respected me. I think I was in my mid-thirties. Lisa, my lovely sister still feigns love, but I sense that I am nothing more to her than a nagging embarrassment. Matt, my brother, whose ass I perennially believed the sun shown through, continues to treat me with the most cruel disdain. These are pictures I took this morning... In my jammies and later using the incredibly high tech "Dirty-Bathroom-Mirror" Photography... truly amazing!In particularl I like the one where I seem to be looking out on life's landscape while thinking deep thoughts.Blogging times will return to my pathetic existence... But for now... This is all I have to offer... Live with it!....
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Tyger! Tyger! Burning Bright
OK, so I went to the break room yesterday and watched the Tiger Woods apology. I was with 3 guys and 1 woman. At the end of the speech, 2 of the guys were joking and suggesting that Woods was not sincere. The other guy was saying the apology wasn't enough and that Woods needed to stand before the press and answer their questions.
The woman had tears in her eyes.
My reaction is this: I don't care. I really don't care. I don't feel sorry for Woods. I don't feel sorry for his wife.
I especially don't feel sorry for the women who facilitated his adultery.
Everywhere you look you see little people out there with no fame and little money, and they are dealing with attractions and temptations as best they can... trying to make good decisions... trying not to hurt anyone or do damage. I care more about these people... and I wish them well.
I'm sure Tiger will take care of Tiger.
....
OK, so I went to the break room yesterday and watched the Tiger Woods apology. I was with 3 guys and 1 woman. At the end of the speech, 2 of the guys were joking and suggesting that Woods was not sincere. The other guy was saying the apology wasn't enough and that Woods needed to stand before the press and answer their questions.
The woman had tears in her eyes.
My reaction is this: I don't care. I really don't care. I don't feel sorry for Woods. I don't feel sorry for his wife.
I especially don't feel sorry for the women who facilitated his adultery.
Everywhere you look you see little people out there with no fame and little money, and they are dealing with attractions and temptations as best they can... trying to make good decisions... trying not to hurt anyone or do damage. I care more about these people... and I wish them well.
I'm sure Tiger will take care of Tiger.
....
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Saying Bayh to Evan
Perhaps nothing better illustrates the Democrat Party's lurch to the Left than the fact that Indiana's retiring Senator, Evan Bayh is now considered the most conservative Senate Democrat.
It's important to remember that Bayh voted against the confirmations of Messrs Alito and Roberts, two of the most qualified men ever to be nominated to the Supreme Court... That he was a consistent supporter of abortion rights... That he voted for the Stimulus (Porkulus) Bill... That he voted for the Senate Health Care Bill.
Our beloved senator campaigned in Indiana as a conservative, and then voted in Washington with Teddy, Harry, and the other Sons of Lenin.
He was smooth, and a very capable politician, but he did not represent the people of Indiana.
Good riddance.
....
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Defeating Freedom's Enemies
This is Peter Heck speaking at a Tea Party gathering last summer. He also teaches government and history at a local high school and has a daily radio show.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day from Malott's Blog
If you're like me, you suffer through 364 calendar days just to make it to your favorite day of the year... Valentine's Day. Like most men, I wish they would just do away with Christmas and let us have a second Valentine's Day instead.
And in this day of economic hard times, what could be a better investment than cut flowers?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Breaking Wind Promises
Nearly $2 billion in money from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act has been spent on wind power, funding the creation of enough new wind farms to power 2.4 million homes over the past year. But the study found that nearly 80 percent of that money has gone to foreign manufacturers of wind turbines.
So Where Are the Jobs?
"Most of the jobs are going overseas," said Russ Choma at the Investigative Reporting Workshop. He analyzed which foreign firms had accepted the most stimulus money. "According to our estimates, about 6,000 jobs have been created overseas, and maybe a couple hundred have been created in the U.S."
Even with the infusion of so much stimulus money, a recent report by American Wind Energy Association showed a drop in U.S. wind manufacturing jobs last year.
2 billion dollars spent on wind energy accompanied by a drop in U.S. wind manufacturing jobs... I realize that the Stimulus Bill was about liberal pet projects, but surely we could get more stimulus out of 2 billion dollars than - fewer jobs!
....
Nearly $2 billion in money from the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act has been spent on wind power, funding the creation of enough new wind farms to power 2.4 million homes over the past year. But the study found that nearly 80 percent of that money has gone to foreign manufacturers of wind turbines.
So Where Are the Jobs?
"Most of the jobs are going overseas," said Russ Choma at the Investigative Reporting Workshop. He analyzed which foreign firms had accepted the most stimulus money. "According to our estimates, about 6,000 jobs have been created overseas, and maybe a couple hundred have been created in the U.S."
Even with the infusion of so much stimulus money, a recent report by American Wind Energy Association showed a drop in U.S. wind manufacturing jobs last year.
2 billion dollars spent on wind energy accompanied by a drop in U.S. wind manufacturing jobs... I realize that the Stimulus Bill was about liberal pet projects, but surely we could get more stimulus out of 2 billion dollars than - fewer jobs!
....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
