Monday, February 28, 2011

The 30 Day Challenge

Nancy Leigh DeMoss is one of my favorite podcasts. She is like your favorite Sunday School Teacher, and though the program is supposedly for women only, she has many male listeners.

Her 30 day challenge is designed for women who have problem marriages or those whose marriage has lost its luster.

Here are the rules...

1) For 30 days not a single negative word leaves your lips concerning your husband. You say nothing negative about your husband to your friends, your family... or to your husband.

2) Every day, for thirty days, you think of something positive or something you admire about your husband... And you tell a friend or family member... And you tell your husband.

That's pretty much it. I've really enjoyed listening to the women's comments, the most common of which is that they didn't realize how negative and un-encouraging they'd been until they took the Challenge. Their husbands reactions were varied, but all positive.

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8 comments:

Bekah said...

I love this. It makes me so sad when I hear women tearing down their husbands publicly. I can only imagine what they say when no one is listening if they're that bold in front of others!

Malott said...

Bekah,

To me, the point is that most people display loyalty to those they respect. If your wife trashes you behind your back, she certainly doesn't respect you.

And it is well documented how men need to feel respected by their wives.

Grammy said...

For over 40 years I have made it a practice to never say anything negative about my husband to anyone. I do tell him when I don't like something he's throwing down, but never tell anyone else. It is sickening to me to hear people grouse publically about their spouses. If you ask me, it's all part of marital fidelity.

Malott said...

Grammy,

You said, "It's all part of marital fidelity."

Well said. I wonder if women know what a wonderful gift that is for a man.

In your case, looking back, that has definitely been a characteristic in your behavior.

But I have to ask, was the practice tested when he brought home the bus?

There goes Ike.

Grammy said...

Oh, you just had to bring up the bus. In my shock, I may have expressed distress that my husband brought home a beat up old school bus and parked it in the driveway, but I never presented it as a character issue. I think there's a difference in complaining about something he did as opposed to something about who he is. What he did was a fact. I never said "That jerk brought home an old beat up school bus." I said "I can't believe he brought home an old beat up school bus." There's a difference. Go with me on this :)

Malott said...

Grammy,

That's exactly how I remember your reaction... It was calm... It was measured, restrained... It was lovingly incredulous.

I remember when the old man (named Ike, correct?) drove the bus through Tipton with his sharpening tools... I remember the sign on the front - "Here Comes Ike" and the sign on the back - "There Goes Ike"... I just wish I could have been a fly on your wall when R purchased it... brought it home... I would have loved to hear the conversation, or maybe just to have witnessed your facial expression and your physical attitude.

And just what plans did he have for that bus... Ah, just to hear his explanation... And your reaction.

Inquiring minds...

Grammy said...

Now I never claimed to be calm and gentle spirited at all times at home. I did a lot of private grousing about Ike. Turns out the bus was used to store a whole lot of worthless junk and walnut and acorn hulls that were dragged in by squirrels. That's what happens when an old schoolbus sits undisturbed in your driveway for 12years. I'll never forget the day someone - for some unfathomable reason - actually paid us $150 to take the bus. I got teary as I saw "There goes Ike" driving down the road for the last time. I watched until it turned the corner and was out of sight. I figured he'd gotten far enough that it wasn't my problem if it died on the road. There was dancing in the living room that night.

Malott said...

12 years... Oh my...

Dancing in the living room... Love it!

You have to wonder where the bus is today... What long-suffering wife is dealing with its presence as I write...