Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Forecast: Ice and Misery

There is a very good chance I will have no electricity in the morning. No phone, no lights, no motorcar, not a single luxury...Like Robinson Carusoe, Primitive as can be.

I do not fear the cold. I do not fear a lack of bathing and hot food. I have three toilets so it will take a few days to fill them... It's a little disgusting, but no fear is involved.

I fear the boredom. No Internet. No computer games. No TV. Just crappy radio until my batteries give out.

And, my blind 89 year-old father is not cooperating. I wanted to get his kerosene heater ready to go... Just in case... He said no. I went to town and purchased batteries for his radio... As I was installing them he went out onto the ice to get his mail... with no hat on. Geez.

So this may be good-bye. I may go outside in the freezing rain and slowly become frozen and immobile... Just like the Tin Man. Oh crap.

Remember me fondly. I was a good man... A Godly man. I was a man of peace and good will... If not crossed.

....

7 comments:

Bekah said...

You may not depart. Period. End of story.

I do understand the boredom factor. You can come over and play if you want. I may be channeling my inner Caroline Ingalls. I'm prepared for a grill fest if need be.

It's a bring your own blankets situation though. If I lose power (and therefore heat) I'm about as likely to share my blankets as I would be to share my coffee.

(Which is pre-made, by the way, just in case.)

Delta said...

Stay as warm as you can! Pick your father up and take him to one of the heating shelters around town (if there are any). Go to a friends house with your dad. (If they are real friends, they will welcome your dad with open arms). Maybe play bingo or Monopoly. Go to Bekah's and let her cats adore you. Better yet, go visit Skyepuppy! (chuckle)

If you want ice and sleet and snow, you can come visit Hubby and me and our son and pets.

IMHO, visiting Skyepuppy would be my choice - smile!

Bekah said...

Oh yes, Chris, you should come let the cats adore you. I know it's your secret longing.

Malott said...

Delta,

Skyepuppy is a powerful and dangerous intellectual female force that would crush my pride and leave me broken... I've looked her in the eyes... And I know!

Bekah,

An invitation to play... Talk of blankets... Caressing kitties... I'm blushing!

You really have coffee without electricity? I fear tomorrow morning w/o coffee.

Bekah said...

Chris - LOL - sorry to make you blush. I made the coffee yesterday and put it in the fridge. If I lose power, I'll have iced coffee. No good for warming, but sure will help avoid a caffeine headache!

If I light the grill I could warm it that way.

SkyePuppy said...

Oh, yes, you're welcome here. There are two couches and a loveseat to choose from (if my roomie says it's okay). No cats, though. Or dogs. Or ice outside, for that matter.

Delta said...

Skye

Can Malott's Dad come with him too? :-)