The Indigenous Metaphor

I like the sound of this post's title. I have no idea what it means. Sometimes I come up with a title, and the post... simply... writes... itself. This is not one of those times.

So instead, let's take a moment and talk about automatic-flush toilets... Shall we?

Recently while training in a blood bank in Indy, I felt a fullness in my abdomen and knew that I needed to excuse myself. I went to the restroom, sat down, and about ten seconds later I felt much better. Tending next to the paperwork, I leaned to my left, being right-handed, and the toilet flushed. I gathered more TP, leaned to my left again, and toilet flushed. I then spent several minutes experimenting, leaning this way and that, and each time the toilet flushed.

This was no longer about personal hygiene. It was just... personal.

I am a responsible person. If I use the restroom, I can be trusted to flush the toity. If I use it standing, I always clean the rim with toilet paper if anything has dripped there. I'm a polite man. I'm a conscientious man. I don't need some smart alec toilet thinking for me... Assuming I'm irresponsible... Laughing at me behind my back... Probably making remarks...

Automatic flush toilets are a metaphor for our culture's struggle in dealing with the loss of personal responsibility. Such devices are surely indigenous only to this country.

Yes, I know. But it was a great title... And this was the best I could do.

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