I saw this picture over at La Shawn Barber's site. There was just something about it that made me stop and stare.After a couple minutes I noticed the baby.
It may be time for me to start dating again. It's been six long, long, pain free years and I've wondered if there is an Indiana Statute addressing common law virginity. My nephew, the lawyer, would know... But being a lawyer, he would try and charge me for the information.
I think the restlessness began when I switched from walking to running for exercise. I run 2 miles at least 3 times per week... Not bad for 54. My theory is that as the heart gets stronger and the blood flow increases... ... ... Maybe I should stop now before it gets ugly.
There is little dignity in being a middle-aged male and single, and what dignity there is can easily be extinguished by dating... Especially when every candidate is way more mature than you are. Most women my age have had a real man with a good job and wouldn't be interested in marrying the winner of the Danny Bonaduce Emotional Maturity Award. My dream is to find a widow whose husband beat her... I surely would look good to her, and hey!... I'm a good actor and can misrepresent myself as almost any one's dream come true if the engagement period is short enough.
I've got my line ready: "Hey, I was thinking about asking you out, but then I remembered I was busy that night." Smooth! Cards on the table... shuffled and dealt.
One good humiliation should put my package back in the sexual cedar chest where it belongs... Sort of like when Spock went back to Vulcan for "congress" and got jilted. -Love that episode.
I'll probably take a year and think about it.
....
4 comments:
Don't sell yourself short, Chris. I think there's a lot of women who would enjoy getting to know you better. You're a great catch and she'll be a very lucky lady.
I love your self deprecating humor.
Malott,
You have a lot of good qualities there! Any woman who would have you would be the 2nd luckiest woman in the world.
The first luckiest woman in the world? Uh........
That would be ME! I just love my hubby! It's been well over 2 decades and he's just - wow!
You never know, there might be a woman nearby thinking the same thing about you. (She would be wrong of course, as no one is as great as my hubby.) ;-D
But hey, you are not exactly chopped liver, you know! Go for it!
You're giving women your age way too much credit. Men seem to get more attractive as they age - a dash of gray, a few wisdom lines around the eyes. But absolutely nothing good happens to women physically as they age. We just get lumpy. I may have just killed your romantic ruminating anyway, but in case you're still interested, you wouldn't be tough sell to women of any age.
"My dream is to find a widow whose husband beat her... " - thank you for making me spit tea on my computer. ;) And I agree with Grammy; maturity level in women = way overrated.
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