Cook Your Own Food

Malott's Blog has recently uncovered troubling data concerning the restaurant industry... Data, we believe, that has been suppressed and purposely ignored by the mainstream media... Who no doubt own stock in this industry.

According to a recent, shocking survey, less than 10% of restaurant workers wash their hands... After using the restroom... Wiping their noses.. Or scratching themselves in their nether regions. This number falls to a disappointing 4% in the fast food portion of the industry.

Disturbing revelations? To be sure.

Leading scientists explain that after pinching dooky, fecal bacteria and epithelial skin cells adhere to the hands and hide under fingernails... Only to fall into an unsuspecting salad, an innocent roast, or those little chicken things that you dip in sauce. It is believed that 97% of all leading scientists now avoid restaurants entirely.

I simply can't remember the last time I sat down in a restaurant... And a man in a lab coat and Hushpuppies was seated at the table next to mine. A coincidence? I don't think so.

The entire staff at Malott's Blog strongly encourages its readers to cook their own food and eat it at home... Before it's too late.

All data and situations described above are fabricated, except for the poo-under-the-nails thing which we think is accurate. Stating that leading scientists wear Hushpuppies was an unfortunate reference that reinforces an unfair stereotype for which the entire staff at Malott's Blog apologizes and deeply regrets having made. All persons described above are fictitious and are not representative of any persons alive, dead, or otherwise employed. No animals were injured during the writing of this post.
Bon appetit'.