Thursday, August 02, 2007

New from L.L. Bean this Fall

Any self-respecting Jihadi Suicide-Bomber would not be caught dead without the proper headgear.

Picture, if you will... You're strutting your stuff down Main Street towards a crowded mall or nightclub... Fifty pounds of C4 explosives on your back... Is your head bare?

I don't think so!

No, you're decked-out in your L.L. Bean Desert Bomber. Just $39.99
The infidel girls will stand back and say to each other, "Now there's a man who knows what to wear when he blows himself up!"


Or maybe you're headed to the subway on a cool and crisp Autumn afternoon. Do you want to meet those virgins in a baseball cap? No way, Waseem! Before you leave your brains all over the trains, why not pamper yourself by donning the L.L. Bean Zawahri TNT Turban? Just $42.50
This light-weight cotton turban features a custom head-band and a secret compartment for the explosive of your choice.


But maybe you're a traditionalist and prefer to do your bombing in the skies. You'll look suave and sophisticated in the Arrafat Palestinian, modelled below by Ringo Starr. Just $29.99

And what about the evening before you blow yourself away? As you say goodbye to your wife, children, and other property... Why not kick back and wrap your head in comfort with the Gadhafi Bowl-Boy. Just $49.95 -Imported

Made of the finest silk from Bangladesh, the GBB lends sophistication to any event, whether it's a formal pre-bombing dinner, or simply sodomizing the neighbor-boy in the backyard.


So remember L.L. Bean when you're deciding how to cover your head... Before you blow it off.

8 comments:

SkyePuppy said...

I'm really impressed that LL Bean spared no expense to get Ringo to model that classic headgear.

Great post!

janice said...

I love it!

Strange but true, Abercrombie and (filth) Fitch and American Eagle Outfitters do carry the keffiyeh. The same one sported by all respectable palestinians.

Here's the link. I think they didn't stop selling them, they only had to change the name.

http://www.thepeoplesvoice.org/cgi-bin/blogs/voices.php/2007/07/07/p18141

janice said...

Sorry, it's Urban Outfitters.

Christina said...

I'm thinking I might start sporting the Yassir Arafat look.

Just think how much time I could save on fixing my hair in the mornings...

Anonymous said...

THATS TURBAN OUTFITTERS, PAGE 911

Delta said...

Do they have any in colors?

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Brian of Nazareth said...

I'm really impressed that LL Bean spared no expense to dig up the late Bert Convy's corpse to model the "Bowl Boy". And yes, Convy certainly hasn't aged very much since his untimely 1991 death. BTW, if an LL Bean product can be produced "apres 'homicide' bombing incident" with label still intact, I do believe it can be replaced free of charge so that the "homicide" bomber can use said replaced product whilst in heaven being berated 24/7 by his 72 virgin wives.