Now see... I get busy and I miss the tenth anniversary of the Heaven's Gate thing... And I fail to celebrate the day on which the dead guys were found... or the bodies left by the guys who went to the space ship - depending upon your personal beliefs and loon quotient. In fact it was March 26, 1997.
In preparing to kill themselves, members of the group drank citrus juices to ritually cleanse their bodies of impurities. The suicide was accomplished by ingestion of phenobarbital mixed with vodka, along with plastic bags secured around their heads to induce asphyxiation. They were found lying neatly in their own bunk beds, with their faces and torsos covered by a square, purple cloth. Each member carried five dollar bills and a few quarters in their wallets. All 39 were dressed in identical black shirts and sweat pants, brand new black-and-white Nike tennis shoes, and armband patches reading "Heaven's Gate Away Team".
You can't make this stuff up. Brand new Nikes. Cool!
Heaven's Gate was founded by Marshall Herff Applewhite (pictured above) and Bonnie Lu Truesdale Nettles sometime before 1975. The two claimed to have arrived via UFO from another dimension (a "level above human") and would return via a secretive "Process", which was taught to group members.
What interests me, is that speaking, breathing adults heard the UFO story and believed it enough to "off" themselves.
And what "sells it" for Me?
Six of the male members of the group voluntarily underwent castration as an extreme means of maintaining the ascetic lifestyle.
Dang!
And just who do you see to get that done? Can you get it done professionally? Is there a home castration kit you can buy? Are there instructions in Popular Mechanics? I immediately think of the neighborhood veterinarian, but I'd be embarrassed to ask her, and I doubt she'd do it anyway.
...Come to think of it... I've dated a couple women who would probably have been up to the task... Certainly figuratively, if not literally.
You know... I've never been popular. I'm kind of a loser and a geek... Not very bright... Kind of odd in some ways. I don't have many friends. I'm nothing to look at and I have no money. The chances that my prospects will improve are poor... But if I ever need attention and acceptance so desperately that I attempt to join a cult...
Please someone... Come to my house... And just shoot me.
Thank you.
4 comments:
Well I can't really approve of shooting anyone, but I think I'd at least try to talk you out of it! Cause I gotta tell you...this cult didn't sound particularly appealing!! I'm really not a fan of pain - and that made me hurt just reading about it.
I probably shouldn't joke about people who were as sad and lost as these... but Dang!
You really wonder how something this bizarre could happen.
It is pretty sick and twisted. (What they did, that is, not your joking about it.) I guess this falls under the Satan got a MAJOR foothold in the brainwashing department.
Your posts are gradually becoming more and more suicidal!
Anyway, I kind of love hearing about cult members doing dumb shit like this. Makes me ever more glad to be an atheist through and through.
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