Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Pruning, The Perfecting, & The Polishing Up

Watching my parents age has been an interesting and sometimes painful experience. My dad told me last week that he doesn't intend to drive anymore because his macular degeneration has done sufficient damage that he questions his driving abilities. My once hard-working mother sometimes spends her entire day in bed, and sometimes shies away and hides from people and situations that are just too hard... Suggesting that her old confidences are no more.

I have a theory about this. You see, my parents have always been faithful to God with their time and their giving. But like most of us - the rich of the world - they are also very proud and independent. But in old age my parents' pride and independence... Their basic confidences are quickly eroding.

The Lord started a good work in them many years ago... And I believe I can see His mercy as my parents' steps become more unsure day by day... I think He is being faithful, completing the work He started... As their eyes turn from a now painful, difficult pilgrimage to a new home that is becoming more real and desirable every day.

My sister and I have new responsibilities, so we are being worked on, too. We have a new appreciation of how our mother cared for her mother when she was old and failing.

Maybe our nursing homes are places of intense pruning and perfecting as God polishes up his servants... Gently, and sometimes not-so-gently, prying their hands away from a world they loved perhaps a little too much... As He faithfully completes His work... Getting them ready for their trip home.

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4 comments:

Bekah said...

Though my parents are just a bit behind yours, I have to say that this is one of the toughest things for me. I look back to even five years ago when they celebrated their 50th anniversary, and I can see just how much they've aged. And I feel very uprepared....for the unknown that is ahead. I don't like to think of them as being the way I remember my grandparents. It is a scary thing sometimes...and yet I know that as each moment comes, I will somehow be able to face it. or at least I tell myself this.

Malott said...

Bekah,

You'll be fine. And you'll be a great comfort for them.

But it will be hard for you... Because you are single. They are your family.

Tsofah said...

Malott:

Please let us know if/when you need encouragement and support during these days. I've watched parental family members go to their "new homes" - it's not an easy to release them on this journey, is it?

Just so you know:

You, and Bekah, may be single. Your parents and siblings are you families, yes. However, you've an extended "family" right here and if there is anything you guys need, even if it's just someone to listen, I'm right here. Know that.

I've a feeling you have other friends who feel the same way.

HUGS

Grammy said...

Chris - You know that I've been going through the same thing with my parents. My father did what we all could have guessed he would do. Dropped dead in his tracks, no fuss, no muss...just straight as an arrow face down on the floor. And that was that. Not a day in the hospital, just a long day of shopping all around town on a hot July day. It was shocking, but I'm so thankful he never had to lose his dignity. My mother, on the other hand, has been so miserable for so long and she continues to linger. You knew her...she's been a hard case all her life. Now she has completely reverted to being a child, and I have to tell you, I'm finding this delightful. For the first time ever I am having fun with her because she has the innocence and sweetness of a child and she has the entertaining behaviors of a child and she's not miserable anymore. I can so see why Jesus said "Unless you become as children you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:2). You're so right...this kind of deterioration helps us let go. I hope your parents don't suffer too much and I feel for you as you care for them. I know how much you respect them. You'll be blessed for caring for them.