Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Black Union

"You know that tough times for America often mean tougher times for African Americans. This recession has been no exception," Obama told the 10th annual "State of the Black Union" gathering, noting that the unemployment rate among African-Americans is five points higher than the national average.

Man! It sucks to be black! I thought we changed all that when we elected Puddin' Head to the White House. And evidently the blacks have this union, and yet they still have terrible trouble.

I always figured that poor white people suffered as much as poor black people, but evidently that additional melanin makes a big difference.

But I think it's important that Obama keeps talking up our differences and inequities... and our general racial complaints. That's always been good for progress and interracial harmony. Then maybe after another 40 or 50 years of the "war on poverty" poor people of every color whose families have a deep seeded tradition of unemployment and leeching off the lives of those who work... Will suddenly have an epiphany and get real ambitious!


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Malott Goes to Video

A Pelosi Moment

Nancy is obviously proud of her boy. No stage mom anywhere could be more enthusiastic and supportive.

But consider poor Joe Biden. Every time the twit on his left launches from her chair in like a teenager with a full bladder, he has to find a dignified way of rising to his feet that doesn't make him look like he's playing "follow the leader."

I figure it this way: The next time Obama speaks before a joint session, Joe will get with Nancy and choreograph a couple moments whe HE gets to stand up first!

But will she let him?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


It's been over seven years since the physician, with scalpel and scissors in hand, removed two square inches of cancer tainted skin from my chest... So I'm officially a cancer survivor.

I consume something with sugar in it maybe once per month... I eat fast food at about the same frequency. My diet contains a lot of green stuff and I'm only about ten pounds from my ideal weight.

I run two miles, three times per week... Arguably good for 55 years.

My cholesterol hovers around 200 and my HDL is in the 40's.

I'm doing great, right?

So I can't adequately describe how disgusted I am that I must now take blood pressure medicine. My doctor told me that I picked the wrong parents.

I am no longer invincible. I am now officially at the threshold of old age. Swell.

The doctor said there should be no sexual side effects, and if there were, I could use Viagra. But that really doesn't apply to me. I mean, why buy gasoline when you got nowhere to park the bus.

I'll be pouting through the end of May.


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Blessed is the Whore

Somewhere in America there is a young prostitute once again on her bruised knees, with her tear-covered face in her hands, begging God to deliver her from her circumstances. She is fresh from Saturday night's debauchery where she used drugs to make it all bearable. She regrets her decisions, and would give anything to be like the women she attended Church with when she was little. She will, in time, fall asleep on the floor.

A few miles away another woman is sleeping. This woman has always been good at being good. In a few hours she will be in Church. She will be encouraged to rise early on Monday to have devotions, but she will not... Because she will stay up too late on Sunday night watching television. She will meet her friend from Sunday School at the mall. (They will not discuss spiritual matters. They have never prayed together.) This woman wants to pray more, but she simply cannot find the time. She will often begin to pray in her recliner, but will quickly fall asleep.

Which one of these women has a relationship with Jesus? Which woman loves the world, and which one hates her life? Whose posture reflects worship and an understanding of her soul's condition? Which life comprehends its need?

"Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you." --Matthew 7:22,23

This scripture has always troubled me. I know it accurately indicts my church's celebration of the outward appearance, and the way we take pride in our deportment, regardless of how oblivious we are of our spiritual inattentiveness.

In this narrow description, I believe the young prostitute has the relationship with Jesus. It is she who is seeking Him... It is she who understands her need.

And I believe the Lord sits in Heaven on His throne captivated by her attention, with her soul safely secured in His hands, as He absently taps His foot to the tortured rhythms in her wailing.


Monday, February 23, 2009

12-year-old speaks out on the issue of abortion

Lia is from Canada. Her pro-choice teacher almost didn't allow her speech in the class speech contest.

Now her speech has been heard by almost 350,000 people.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Over His Head

What did America vote for? Closing Gitmo... Not practical, no hurry. Getting our troops out of Iraq... Not practical, no hurry. Getting rid of that Constitution-shredding surveillance program... Not practical , no hurry. Tax cuts... Not practical, no hurry. Hope... Maybe, some day.

Change... You betcha!

But not the change we need. Irresponsible people are being bailed out on their mortgages. We are stealing from our children's pockets to fund a left-wing wish-list. Cutting the capital gains tax, which would stimulate the stock market and help those soon to retire, is not in the plan. Out of control government spending is on the way and so is the inflation that will decimate the nest eggs of those responsible people who were careful with their money and played by the rules.

I remember when the scuttlebutt and excitement among anti-feminist, racist Republicans was that Condoleeza Rice might be persuaded to run for the presidency. Though the black community would not have supported her, her presidency would have been better for the black community than Obama's. Hers would have been better for race relations.

The trouble with electing this stupid, untried, unaccomplished left-wing black man, who knows less about business than the neighborhood hardware store owner, is that his cluelessness and his ultimate failure will reflect upon the black community and smart, accomplished minority politicians like Condoleeza Rice and Bobby Jindal.

I'm proud that my country is free enough of prejudice to elect an African American to the White House. It's just too bad that we picked a dummy.

Friday, February 20, 2009

From the New York Post...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I Wouldn't Want My Sister to Marry One

Prejudice is an ugly thing. There are probably thousands... Maybe even hundreds of American-Muslims who think Muzzammil Hassan over-reacted a little when he cut his wife's head off. Besides, maybe she was asking for it! Look at her picture... Aasiya Hassan was probably very hard to live with. Maybe she kept a messy house... Burned dinners... We've all known that kind.

Besides, it could have been a silly accident. I know for myself, whenever I hold a sharp knife to a woman's throat, I'm quite capable of becoming distracted and... Woops! Darn the luck!

Anyway, we can't let this unfortunate incident prejudice our view of Islam. I know whenever a man in my church cuts his wife's head off, we always give him the benefit of the doubt... We like to think the best of people. And America should do the same for men of every faith, creed, and country of origin.
So when Abdul or Waseem come calling on your sisters or daughters, welcome them with open arms... And don't insult them by hiding the cutlery.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Quote for the Day

The prophets were "on their knees," sometimes "face in the dirt" in their supplication. We are upright and proud, as we treat God like an old friend we could walk right up to in a restaurant and slap on the back. We are casual and presuming when we approach the Almighty. In short... The fear of God is not in us... As we reduce God's dynamic plan to a lifestyle.
-- Malott

Monday, February 16, 2009

How To Get A Head in Muslim Broadcasting

Muslim Family to Save Money on Ladies' Hats

Muslim Woman Loses Ten Pounds Overnight

Muslim Man may Be Heading to Prison

I should probably just let Janice handle this one.


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Was Abraham Lincoln a Racist?

If Abraham Lincoln had not been shot in Ford's theater, he would be 200 years old today. The good they die young. But how good was he?

Henry Lewis Gates Jr quotes Lincoln from a speech delivered in 1858:

“I will say, then, that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races—that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this, that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I, as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.”

Lincoln despised slavery as an institution, an economic institution that discriminated against white men who couldn’t afford to own slaves and, thus, could not profit from the advantage in the marketplace that slaves provided. At the same time, however, he was deeply ambivalent about the status of black people vis-à-vis white people, having fundamental doubts about their innate intelligence and their capacity to fight nobly with guns against white men in the initial years of the Civil War.

Even as he was writing the Emancipation Proclamation during the summer of 1862, Lincoln was working feverishly to ship all those slaves he was about to free out of the United States. So taken was he with the concept of colonization that he invited five black men to the White House and offered them funding to found a black republic in Panama, for the slaves he was about to free.

Even as late as April 1862, James Redpath recorded Lincoln’s saying of President Fabre Nicholas Geffard of Haiti (who had offered to send a white man as his ambassador to the United States), “You can tell the President of Hayti that I shan’t tear my shirt if he sends a nigger here!”

It's an interesting article, and for the most part I believe Gates' conclusion gets it right. Lincoln was a man of his times... A product of his times. If his attitude towards Blacks had been the same as today's liberals or conservatives, he could not have been elected. In fact, I believe he would have been an outcast.

The Left likes to trash some of the Founding Fathers for owning slaves. Dead men from another time are easy targets. (Ask J. Edgar Hoover.) But I prefer to concentrate on the positive... How after 50 years of Liberal help, every descendant of slaves in America has risen to unthinkable heights of fortune, education, family, and success.

But happy birthday Abe! May the history books continue to treat you kindly.


Monday, February 09, 2009

The Fairness Doctrine and Christian Radio

What is even more troubling to Christian talk show hosts is a left-wing movement to use regulatory boards like the FCC to cancel broadcast licenses and to stamp out free speech altogether. Such government power is already being exerted in Europe and Canada, where those at the microphone cannot criticize Islam or homosexuality without risking a blackout.

Says Bruce Fein, the FCC general counsel during the Reagan administration, “The whole purpose of the Fairness Doctrine is to force contrasting views even if it violates the broadcaster’s scruples. The overall objective is to try to make it sufficiently expensive, so it isn’t worth it so I’ll say nothing at all. The alternative is not to have more views but to have fewer.”

The process would work this way: a Muslim group such as the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) or a homosexual rights group such as the American Civil Liberties Union would file a complaint with the FCC because, for example, “Point of View” did not provide a contrasting view.

“For the teaching ministry in today’s culture I think they will be dramatically affected,” Kelley says. “If you have a pastor who talks of salvation through Jesus, then Muslim clerics will want equal time and to force Christian broadcasters to provide time to competing world views and religions.”

Everything in this world reduces to good and evil. The Democrat party... The party of abortion, homosexuality, and everything anti-Jesus... Is behind this. And church people vote for these guys?

Hat tip:


Sunday, February 08, 2009

Urinating in the Shower

Because I've never been one to shy away from the really important issues.

Consider... if you will... It's morning again and it's time to get washed up. You stumble to the bathroom and turn on the water in the tub. You go back to the computer room to make sure your pod casts are downloading. You then return to find that the hot water has finally completed its trek from the garage. The house is very cold, and you shiver as you quickly take off your T-shirt and drawers. You slip under the shower, begin to wet your hair... And then... Whether it's the cold or the running water... That all too familiar urgency overtakes you.

Now you're a civilized man. A Godly man. You always remember to empty your bladder before you get into the shower... But today you forgot.

You have three choices.

1) You can get out of the shower, leaving a mess on the floor, or maybe a wet towel that will be worthless for drying yourself later. And if you choose to sit, you have to experience that awful "wet-hips-on-the-toilet-seat-feeling." And you will be oh soooo cold.

2) You can hold it and be miserable throughout your shower... Ultimately experiencing an even more frenzied cold and "wet hips" thing later when you're even more miserable.

3) Or, You can do the unthinkable, which flies in the face of everything your mother and civilization has ever taught you about good manners and decent behavior.

Now I live alone, and I am an educated man. No one would know... And, I understand that my urine is sterile... It has no bacteria in it, while the tap-water I drink - and shower under - does. But still, there is just something not right about relieving myself in the place where I go to get clean. I am not an animal. I am a man... Just like John Merrick.

Now the funny thing is this: If any of my friends, family, or even blogging buddies, came to my home... Used my shower and pottied in it... I'd think nothing of it. It wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, I'd want them to do it, rather than be uncomfortable.

I am the perfect host.

But I can't do it myself without feeling I've somehow lowered, or debased myself. Intellectually I'm fine with it, but psychologically it makes me feel common and vulgar.

Don't misunderstand. I am not a shower-peepee virgin. And, I will pee outside... I'll pee into a coke can... I'll pee into the wind... I'll write my name in the snow... I'll douse a campfire, and relish it.

But there are certain lines that a civilized man does not cross without careful contemplation. There are certain roads carelessly built upon a slippery slope. Boundaries and fences are erected for a reason. And who really knows to what evils shower urination might lead?


Saturday, February 07, 2009

An African-American I'd Vote For

Star Parker is what you get when you add drug abuse + crime + promiscuity + multiple abortions + welfare dependency + Jesus.

Friday, February 06, 2009

In Contrast to Picture Below

Eighteen and pregnant, Sycloria Williams went to an abortion clinic outside Miami and paid $1,200 for Dr. Pierre Jean-Jacque Renelique to terminate her 23-week pregnancy.

Three days later, she sat in a reclining chair, medicated to dilate her cervix and otherwise get her ready for the procedure.

Only Renelique didn't arrive in time. According to Williams and the Florida Department of Health, she went into labor and delivered a live baby girl.

What Williams and the Health Department say happened next has shocked people on both sides of the abortion debate: One of the clinic's owners, who has no medical license, cut the infant's umbilical cord. Williams says the woman placed the baby in a plastic biohazard bag and threw it out.

Police recovered the decomposing remains in a cardboard box a week later after getting anonymous tips.

"It really disturbed me," said Joanne Sterner, president of the Broward County chapter of the National Organization for Women, after reviewing the administrative complaint against Renelique. "I know that there are clinics out there like this. And I hope that we can keep (women) from going to these types of clinics."

Gee Whiz, Joanne! The baby is dead... That was the whole purpose of the procedure. Is it really that important to you how the act played out?


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Surgeon Operates on Clump of Tissue
In this surgical procedure, the surgeon has removed the uterus, drained the amniotic fluid, and repaired the spina bifida lesion of a 21 week old fetus... Or baby, as we say in Greentown.

In this photograph the anesthetized baby's hand has flopped out of the uterus, and the surgeon is placing it back.

The "urban legend" surrounding this photo claims that the baby reached out and grabbed the surgeon's finger... Which makes a more dramatic story.

But I think the truth is pretty dramatic in itself.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Why My Life is Better than Yours
Reason #2

Every day people I barely know stop me on the street and ask me... They say, "Malott, your life is obviously better than mine. Can you tell me why?" Usually I just push them out of my way, especially if they're old, female, and feeble.

But there are times when I take a moment and try to pass on a tiny bit of perfection to those less worthy.

This is one of those times.

Reason #2: I never have more than four pennies in my possession at any time! I never have more than 99 cents in coin in my pocket, in my truck, or in my house at any time!

Isn't that amazing! Yes. Yes, it is!

How do I do it? Well, whenever I leave my house I take all my change with me, and when I return I empty my pockets of my change, placing it in the exact same spot.

Whenever I make a purchase with cash, I always remove all my change from my pocket and count it, so that I can quickly reduce the coinage in my possession if possible. For instance, if I go to the grocery with a ten dollar bill and 29 cents, and my purchase comes to five dollars and 87 cents... I give the cashier the ten dollar bill and two pennies. Easy!

Sometimes I go to other peoples homes and I see jars full of pennies and other coins, and I am embarrassed for them. It's just no way to live.

So there you have it, yet another illustration of the magic that is my life.

Tune in next month for Reason #3... My Sock Drawer: Organized and Immaculate!


Monday, February 02, 2009

Quote for the Day

"The Gospel is more like a bird than a candle. When a candle is put out, the light is gone. But when a bird is frightened away, it goes and sings its song on another bough."
-- F.W. Borum