Urinating in the Shower

Because I've never been one to shy away from the really important issues.

Consider... if you will... It's morning again and it's time to get washed up. You stumble to the bathroom and turn on the water in the tub. You go back to the computer room to make sure your pod casts are downloading. You then return to find that the hot water has finally completed its trek from the garage. The house is very cold, and you shiver as you quickly take off your T-shirt and drawers. You slip under the shower, begin to wet your hair... And then... Whether it's the cold or the running water... That all too familiar urgency overtakes you.

Now you're a civilized man. A Godly man. You always remember to empty your bladder before you get into the shower... But today you forgot.

You have three choices.

1) You can get out of the shower, leaving a mess on the floor, or maybe a wet towel that will be worthless for drying yourself later. And if you choose to sit, you have to experience that awful "wet-hips-on-the-toilet-seat-feeling." And you will be oh soooo cold.

2) You can hold it and be miserable throughout your shower... Ultimately experiencing an even more frenzied cold and "wet hips" thing later when you're even more miserable.

3) Or, You can do the unthinkable, which flies in the face of everything your mother and civilization has ever taught you about good manners and decent behavior.

Now I live alone, and I am an educated man. No one would know... And, I understand that my urine is sterile... It has no bacteria in it, while the tap-water I drink - and shower under - does. But still, there is just something not right about relieving myself in the place where I go to get clean. I am not an animal. I am a man... Just like John Merrick.

Now the funny thing is this: If any of my friends, family, or even blogging buddies, came to my home... Used my shower and pottied in it... I'd think nothing of it. It wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, I'd want them to do it, rather than be uncomfortable.

I am the perfect host.

But I can't do it myself without feeling I've somehow lowered, or debased myself. Intellectually I'm fine with it, but psychologically it makes me feel common and vulgar.

Don't misunderstand. I am not a shower-peepee virgin. And, I will pee outside... I'll pee into a coke can... I'll pee into the wind... I'll write my name in the snow... I'll douse a campfire, and relish it.

But there are certain lines that a civilized man does not cross without careful contemplation. There are certain roads carelessly built upon a slippery slope. Boundaries and fences are erected for a reason. And who really knows to what evils shower urination might lead?

....