Monday, June 28, 2010

Malott Quits Job

The entire staff at Malott's Blog wishes to publicly express its concern that our fearless, and somewhat eccentric leader, has inexplicably resigned his job of thirty-one years to pursue a similar job that is farther from home and will provide less take-home pay. He will be working only three days per week and will be assigned odd hours. The only advantages we can thus far determine is that he will have a much lighter work load and less responsibilities.

To our inquiries Malott only replies, "I can do three days standing on my head." We're not sure what that means.

Malott has assured us that our current pay and staffing will not be affected.

Our major concern is that the tasteful standards and pristine reputation that the Blog has earned through the years might be compromised if Malott's mental capacities and personal habits continue to erode. We have noticed that he bathes less, goes longer between haircuts, and has taken to pacing about his home while whispering, "Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty..." Malott does not own a cat, and has never demonstrated an appreciation for cats.

Thus, our concern.

Oh sure, Malott has always inter-personally danced with two left feet, but his insight and judgement have historically been keen and beyond reproach. We suggested to Mr. Malott that this employment move might be the product of a midlife crisis, but he responded that it was rather a "midwife" crisis. We're not sure what that means, either.

The entire staff at Malott's Blog would like to take this opportunity to assure our faithful readers that our desire is to continue our mission of providing political and cultural insights today, tomorrow, and well into the future.

As for Mr. Malott... We'll watch him. And when the time comes, we'll do our best to fulfill his latest final request to be stuffed and mounted in the corporate lobby.

Thank you.



Grammy said...

All I can say is...WOW!!!!! And good for you. There's is so much more important stuff to do in life than spend 10 hours a day working and driving to and from. Enjoy!

Maybe now you'll have time to find that long lost cat of yours. When you finally find it, you'll experience a much needed "cattitude" adjustment.

Grammy said...
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SkyePuppy said...

What will your hospital do without you? How will it go on? Who will work holidays?

The decisions you make will have a serious impact on health care as we know it in our country. Ummm... on ObamaCare... ummmm...

Congratulations! I hope you enjoy your new job.

Tsofah said...

Malott? Did you really quit your job or are you being satirical, lyrical, quizzical, hysterical, or sarcastic?

Perhaps you had a fever, or cold, or...moment of clarity?

Seriously, though, what's going on?

janice said...

Good for you Chris! I wish you well.