A Match Made in Heaven

Or perhaps Heaven's Gate.

I've long held the opinion that third-party tickets always feature self-serving egomaniacs that are more preoccupied with personal ambition and notoriety than any supposed principle or issue.

But Kucinich/Paul creates a number of other problems... Like how would you name the Party or describe it? Liberal-Libertarian... is a conflict in terms and philosophy.

But nonetheless...

The race goes on, but one thing that can be said for U.S. Rep. and presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, of Ohio, and that is he is always proposing something new. This time he mentioned a possible Democrat-Republican ticket. The Republican he is suggesting, Ron Paul, is a congressman from Texas.

There is a disturbing symmetry here.

Reagan's Eleventh Commandment

I've heard talk by Conservative Christian Leaders who are quick to criticize certain Republican presidential candidates. These well-meaning and passionate Christians declare that - certain GOP contenders will not receive their votes or support. Just like a tree that's planted by the water, [They] shall not be moved.

It's a matter of principle.

Much of this talk centers around the abortion issue and the pro-choice Rudy Giuliani. Personally, I share the desire to nominate a Pro-Life, Social Conservative to the ticket...

But what if?

What if Rudy gets the nomination? Will Conservative principles stay home... and elect a Clinton or Obama? Will Giuliani, a pro-choice Republican who has pledged to nominate Strict Constructionists to the Supreme Court, be abandoned by Christian voters... Insuring a Democrat victory - and the packing of the Court with Liberal Judicial Activists who will dominate our culture for the next 30 years?

All for principle?

If Ronald Reagan was alive and politically active today, he would not be criticizing any of the Party's candidates. In his words: "Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican." He would speak of issues and let the voters decide... And then he would get behind the nominee.

Now I'm not sure what the Supreme Court would look like after 4 or 8 years of a "President Giuliani." Or a Romney... Huckabee, or Thompson for that matter. But there is absolutely no doubt how a President Hillary or Obama would shape the Court.

In short: There is just too much at stake in this election to be piously principled... And Stupid.

Look. It's a fine thing to stand firm for what you believe in. But if your principles are more important to you than making the best choice... Are you really doing what's in the best interest of the unborn?

So during the primary process - let's work hard to nominate the best man. And when the tickets are set... Let's support the better choice.

Hey, Hey, We're The Monkeys

I love this story.

...five numbers flashed on the screen only briefly before they were replaced by white squares. The challenge, again, was to touch these squares in the proper sequence.

When the numbers were displayed for about seven-tenths of a second, Ayumu (the Monkey) and the college students were both able to do this correctly about 80 percent of the time.

But when the numbers were displayed for just four-tenths or two-tenths of a second, the chimp was the champ. The briefer of those times is too short to allow a look around the screen, and in those tests Ayumu still scored about 80 percent, while humans plunged to 40 percent.

Yes, that's all very nice... But if you put 1,000 monkeys in front of 1,000 typewriters for 1,000 years... There will be no sonnets produced.

Most mammals are probably superior to humans when it comes to the old shell game.

The Gray Suit

Is she formidable... Or just scary?

Hurricane Season Mercifully Over

The endless death and destruction that global warming has visited upon the gulf coast and eastern seaboard - through its chief agent of torment, The hurricane - has come to an end... Until next year, when the suffering begins all over again.

Hrrrumph!

Actually, I heard that this year the weather people and the global warming crowd, so disappointed at the uneventful storm season, named subtropical storms that were at a level never named in the past.

Integrity is a fragile and expendable thing when it flies afoul with the Left's agenda.

Why I Hate CBS Radio News

Henry Hyde has passed away. I just heard CBS Radio News state that he will be remembered for his fight against Abortion Rights.

No.

What the disingenuous morons at CBS Radio News don't seem to understand, is that Henry Hyde will be remembered as a tireless defender of the Right to Life.

Rest in peace, Henry! You fought the good fight.

Sparing the Rod in Massachusetts

BOSTON -- Lawmakers on Beacon Hill are set to consider a proposed ban on spanking children in the commonwealth.

The Boston Herald reported that State Rep. Jay Kaufman filed the spanking ban petition at the request of an Arlington, Mass., nurse who wants Massachusetts to become the first state in the country to stop corporal punishment.

This is the year that Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama corrected God and His Bible by stating that homosexuality is not immoral. Maybe it's time for "spare the rod and spoil the child" to be thrown out, too.

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Proverbs 13:24

Well... Not in Massachusetts.

Hollywood and Rand Don't Mix

I'm still suffering slightly from the chills I experienced... When I read that the filming of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged had been announced for 2008... And will star Angelina Jolie as Dagny Taggart.

Kind of makes me sick to think of what the Socialists in Hollywood will make of this Anti-Socialist Masterwork.

Let the rewriting, the misrepresenting, and the general carving up begin.

I am today predicting that the only significant and memorable result of this movie will be that in 2015 there will be a whole slew of "Dagnys" registered for Kindergarten.

Why The Clintons Should Slither Away From Public Life

The London Times is now covering tawdry allegations that Hillary Clinton may be a lesbian. An article published over the weekend shines new light on a rumored Clinton affair with her Muslim aide Huma Abedin.

Matt Drudge picked up the story over the weekend via a banner headline. It was Drudge who first thrust the Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinsky scandal into the mainstream.

While Hillary publicly denied being a lesbian during an interview in September, she was not asked about being bisexual, nor about her relationship with Abedin. Her support among gay leaders is said to be at an all-time high.

...many tipsters have reminded us of page 42 of Gennifer Flowers’s 1995 book, Passion and Betrayal. Starting on that page, Bill Clinton’s ex-flame says that he very clearly told her that Hillary is a lesbian:

“There’s something you need to know. I’ve been hearing tales around town that Hillary is having another thing with a woman.” I watched his face to see his reaction, and couldn’t believe it when he burst out laughing. I was stunned! I asked him what was so funny. “Honey,” he said, “she’s probably ____ more _____ than I have.”

There are things that we need in this country... But we don't need more of this. When trashy people are elevated to high office, you get trashy stories like this.

Do I think this story is true? Probably not... I hope not... But it is a direct reflection and consequence of the character issues that have plagued this former First Family.

And I definitely think that the Clintons have slimed our culture enough... And I wish they would go away.

Can a Fetus Beat Us?

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) - Texas laws allow the killing of a fetus to be prosecuted as murder, regardless of the fetus' stage of development, but they do not apply to abortions, the state's highest criminal court has ruled.

The court ruled unanimously that state laws declaring a fetus an individual with protections do not conflict with the U.S. Supreme Court's Roe v. Wade ruling that protects a woman's right to an abortion.

"The Supreme Court has emphasized that states may protect human life not only once the fetus has reached viability but 'from the outset of the pregnancy,'" the court said. "The Legislature is free to protect the lives of those whom it considers to be human beings."

Interpretation: Killing a fetus is such a horrible and reprehensible act... You'll be sent to prison for the rest of your life... Unless you're a woman who is physically attached to the fetus. Then killing it is OK.

From My Cold, Dead Fingers


WASHINGTON, Nov. 20 — The Supreme Court announced today that it would decide whether the Constitution grants individuals the right to keep guns in their homes for private use, plunging the justices headlong into a divisive and long-running debate over how to interpret the Second Amendment’s guarantee of the “right of the people to keep and bear arms.”


The federal appeals court here, breaking with the great majority of federal courts to have examined the issue over the decades, ruled last March that the Second Amendment right was an individual one, not tied to service in a militia, and that the District of Columbia’s categorical ban on handguns was therefore unconstitutional.


Fine.


A well-regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.


I got it... And I don't need a black robe to understand what it means. It means that federal, state, and local governments cannot make laws that prohibit me from owning and carrying a gun. It means that local law enforcement officials cannot infringe on this right by making me "jump through hoops" and beg them for a permit to carry this gun. That's what it means.

I sympathize with the law-abiding people of D.C. and other urban areas that are riddled with crime and shootings, but these laws do nothing to protect them or stem the violence. In fact, these unconstitutional laws have been a boon for every criminal, thug, and bully that preys upon an unarmed public. The honorable and wise men that wrote the second amendment would see the wisdom in the arming of the unfortunate souls that have to navigate lawless streets and raise their children where the local laws and enforcement is inadequate to their task.

If all the law-abiding citizens of this country exercised this constitutional right, there would not be an increase in deaths from firearms... To the contrary - there would be a marked decrease.

The ENDA Common Sense

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), is a proposed U.S. federal law that would prohibit discrimination against employees on the basis of sexual orientation. Currently, there are two versions of the bill.

Under both versions, the bill provides employment protections similar to those of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, but specifically directed to gay, lesbian, bisexual (and under HR 2015, transgender) employees. The bill is different from Title VII in that it contains exemptions concerning employer dress codes.

Currently, 13 states and the District of Columbia have policies prohibiting both sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination in employment. Fifteen other states have laws that have been interpreted to protect transgender persons.

So if your twelve-year old's middle school football coach wants to wear a dress... And prefers to urinate in the girl's restroom...

San Francisco values... Thanks Nancy.

Don't throw bouquets at me

Don't please my folks too much

Don't laugh at my jokes too much

People will say we're in love!

Don't sigh and gaze at me

Your sighs are so like mine

Your eyes mustn't glow like mine

People will say we're in love!

Don't start collecting things

Give me my rose and my glove.

Sweetheart they're suspecting things

People will say we're in love.
Don't praise my charm too much
Don't look so vain with me

Don't stand in the rain with me

People will say we're in love!

Don't take my arm too much

Don't keep your hand in mine

Your hand feels so grand in mine

People will say we're in love!

Don't dance all night with me

Till the stars fade from above.

They'll see it's alright with me

People will say we're in love.

John Stossel Exposes Liar Kevin Trudeau

Mr Trudeau is a "pathological" Phineas Taylor Barnum.
There's a sucker born every minute... And Kevin has some of his money.

Laura Ingraham versus Whoopi and Joy on the View

I love L.I.

The Doorway to My Bedroom

This is the doorway to my bedroom. The guy in the picture is Jesus (artist's conception). So if some night... Someone breaks into my home... And comes upstairs to beat the crap out of me...

He's gotta get by Jesus first.

This truth works on more than one level... It even works without the picture.

A Woman's Place

This video is very hard to watch. It should be viewed by adults only.

Feminists who do not support the War on Terror are either ignorant or very selfish and disingenuous.

Licensed To Be Illegal

Voters oppose driver's licenses for illegal aliens by a nearly five-to-one margin, a new Fox 5/Washington Times/Rasmussen Reports poll finds.

As immigration politics explode into the presidential race, polls show Americans are taking a hard line on benefits for illegal aliens, including opposing driver's licenses and such taxpayer-funded benefits as scholarships at state colleges for illegal-alien students.

The new poll found 77 percent of the adults surveyed opposed making driver's licenses available to illegal aliens, while just 16 percent supported the idea.

If this 77% had representatives in Washington that were even remotely interested in representing the views of their constituents... Instead of kissing-up to the belt-way media and the Washington Liberal Elite... Bah!

I mean really! ...77% should be a slam-dunk on most any issue.

Mitt Romney - An Introduction

Pretty impressive.

From My Journal

August 31, 1992

My grandmother, Thelma McRoberts, died on August 18th - two weeks ago tomorrow. Her death constitutes the first loss in what I will call my immediate childhood family.

My grandmother was meekness personified, and for a quiet person who possessed so little, she gave an incredible amount of love and service to her family and friends.

My brother, Matt... Gave the sermon at her funeral - and did a fine job I might add - and I was amazed that he could get through it without getting choked up. At the end of the service as we passed by the casket... I stopped to shake my brother's hand. He began to say something... But his voice caught in his throat. I wish I had hugged him... But that's something we don't do.

Bill, Andrew, and I... Along with three others... Carried my grandmother to the hearse... And later... Carried her to her grave site. But it is only today that I wonder... How many times did she carry me?

Lions for Lambs is a Dog

I’ve just seen Robert Redford’s 88-minute talkathon ”Lions for Lambs” (typically action-packed moment captured above) and can confidently report that the movie is going to rival the Tampa Bay Devil Rays’ season ender for its ability to produce empty seats.

The worst bits are set at USC, where a professor (Robert Redford) is having a long, earnest, liberal conversation about how to change the world with a supposedly brilliant student who keeps skipping class.

Sounds riveting. It also sounds like another Anti-War, Blame America First Movie. It's tradional - in a time of war - for Hollywood to get involved in the war effort... It would be better if their effort supported our side... But at least they're involved.

Bill Clinton's Other Intern

She's never had the occasion of being in the private sector, running a business, or, for that matter, running a state or a city. She hasn't run anything, and the government of the United States is not a place for a president to be an intern," (Mitt) Romney said.

Let me be brief.

Bill has never demonstrated good taste when picking women.
Ever.

He prefers them tragically and irreversibly flawed... And... Or... Bimboesque.

But Romney and other Republicans should hold their attack until she is nominated... Or are they purposely elevating her - through their attacks - Because Hillary is the one they know they can defeat?

Defeating Hillary

PHILADELPHIA (AP) - Democrats Barack Obama and John Edwards sharply challenged Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's candor, consistency and judgment Tuesday in a televised debate that underscored her front-runner status two months before the first presidential primary votes.

...But she avoided direct answers to several questions. The New York senator wouldn't say how she would address the fiscal crisis threatening Social Security, she declined to pledge whether she would stop Iran from developing a nuclear weapon or say whether she supports giving driver's licenses to illegal immigrants. Rather, she tried to turn every issue into an argument against President Bush.

Three issues. Social Security. Radical Islam. Illegals and the border.

The first involves our economic health. The second - Our national security. The third - Our security and national identity. All three are winners for any conservative that has the right answers.

For now it's all about garnering the "Left-Wing-Nut-Job-Vote... And pandering to the Left's Pathological Hatred for Bush is sufficient for that. But in time Hillary will have to play to the "Great Middle"... And that will be a daunting task for an unlikable, unattractive, old Liberal... With no answers.

Cook Your Own Food

Malott's Blog has recently uncovered troubling data concerning the restaurant industry... Data, we believe, that has been suppressed and purposely ignored by the mainstream media... Who no doubt own stock in this industry.

According to a recent, shocking survey, less than 10% of restaurant workers wash their hands... After using the restroom... Wiping their noses.. Or scratching themselves in their nether regions. This number falls to a disappointing 4% in the fast food portion of the industry.

Disturbing revelations? To be sure.

Leading scientists explain that after pinching dooky, fecal bacteria and epithelial skin cells adhere to the hands and hide under fingernails... Only to fall into an unsuspecting salad, an innocent roast, or those little chicken things that you dip in sauce. It is believed that 97% of all leading scientists now avoid restaurants entirely.

I simply can't remember the last time I sat down in a restaurant... And a man in a lab coat and Hushpuppies was seated at the table next to mine. A coincidence? I don't think so.

The entire staff at Malott's Blog strongly encourages its readers to cook their own food and eat it at home... Before it's too late.

All data and situations described above are fabricated, except for the poo-under-the-nails thing which we think is accurate. Stating that leading scientists wear Hushpuppies was an unfortunate reference that reinforces an unfair stereotype for which the entire staff at Malott's Blog apologizes and deeply regrets having made. All persons described above are fictitious and are not representative of any persons alive, dead, or otherwise employed. No animals were injured during the writing of this post.
Bon appetit'.

Fire Donation

BAGHDAD, Iraq — Members of the Iraqi Army in Besmaya collected a donation for the San Diego, Calif., fire victims Thursday night at the Besmaya Range Complex in a moving ceremony to support Besmaya's San Diego residents.

Iraqi Army Col. Abbass, the commander of the complex, presented a gift of $1,000 to U.S. Army Col. Darel Maxfield, Besmaya Range Complex officer in charge, Multi-National Security Transition Command Iraq, to send to the fire victims in California.

The money was collected from Iraqi officers and enlisted soldiers in Besmaya. In a speech given during the presentation, Col. Abbass stated that he and the Iraqi soldiers were connected with the American people in many ways, and they will not forget the help that the American government has given the Iraqi people. Abbass was honored to participate by sending a simple fund of $1,000 to the American people in San Diego, to lower the suffering felt by the tragedy.

Iraqi soldiers make about $300 per month.

The Surge and its Effect on Politics

The Democrats and the mainstream media aren't talking about Iraq much these days.

Why?

This chart from the Weekly Standard might give you a clue. It compares hostile to non-hostile deaths in Iraq... The last five data points represent the effects of The Surge.

faux pas


When you are raised and educated in a foreign country... You are bound to miss out on a few of the basic tenets of etiquette... Like what to do with your hands during the playing of the National Anthem.

The Gay Scouts of America

Delta's comment about gay scouts spurred my thinking on this.

While I imagine their uniforms would be lovely... And magnificently accessorized... And while their camp grounds would be immaculate... And the food and entertainment - first class... I just don't see it happening.

On my honor, I will do my best, to do my duty, to Todd and my Justin, to Matt and Jake, to Bruce and Kyle...


I'm sorry. I'm done now.

The Good in Scouting

PHILADELPHIA -- The city has decided that the Boy Scouts chapter here must pay fair-market rent of $200,000 a year for its city-owned headquarters because it refuses to permit gay Scouts.

The organization's Cradle of Liberty Council, which currently pays $1 a year in rent, must pay the increased amount to remain in its downtown building past May 31...

The higher rent money "would have to come from programs. That's 30 new Cub Scout packs, or 800 needy kids going to our summer camp," ( Jeff ) Jubelirer (spokesman for the Cradle of Liberty Council) said. "It's disappointing, and it's certainly a threat."

The Cradle of Liberty Council serves about 64,000 scouts in Philadelphia and its suburbs.

That's nice. Most contentious issues boil down to the lowest common denominator... Good vs. Evil.

I still remember the phrases. "A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent..." "On my honor, I will do my best, to do my duty to God, and my country..." Etc.

On my honor...

For many of our poorest, Scouting is the first introduction to concepts like honor... The first place where they identify with the word... And... They are introduced to the idea that there is something greater than self-gratification.

The militant gays and other leftists are not interested in starting their own "gay-accepting" young men's organization... Any more than they are in starting their own Churches.

They just want to infiltrate, degrade, dilute, and "tear down" the organizations that now exist.

Where's Kitty?

Jury Duty

I'm thinking about going to law school.

Yesterday I sat on a jury in a trial over the possession of marijuana in the amount that constituted a Class D. felony. At the end of the proceedings the defense attorney pulled my name from a box and I was pronounced the "alternate."

I can't tell you how hard it was to keep my mouth shut as my fellow jurors discussed the case, and subsequently found the man guilty.

Anyway, the public defender was poor... And I honestly believe that I could have gotten the guy off.

A local man unhappy with the results of his trial attempted to escape police custody by breaking through a glass door at the Howard County Courthouse Monday afternoon.

Multiple Tasers were fired by security officers Mark Clark and Sonya Tsakonas as they attempted to apprehend King.

“Mr. King was apparently unhappy with his representation and the fact that he was remanded into custody of the Howard County Sheriff’s Department,” (Sherriff) Talbert said.

The possession of marijuana charge King was originally convicted of carries a presumptive sentence of 18 months. He now faces additional charges of escape, a Class C felony; resisting law enforcement, a Class A misdemeanor; and criminal mischief, a Class A misdemeanor.


Maybe it was for the best.

The Ignoble Nobel

Winners of the Nobel Peace Prize:

Mikhail Gorbachev
Yasser Arafat
Kofi Annan
Jimmy Carter
Al Gore

Never won:

Winston Churchill
Franklin Roosevelt
Billy Graham
Margaret Thatcher
Ronald Reagan

Is there a bigger joke than the Nobel Peace Prize?

OK... Besides the United Nations...

Gov. Romney on The Tonight Show - Highlights

Dated... Poor quality... But an interesting look at this candidate.

Desperate Filipinos

The Philippine government is to seek an apology from the producers of the hit US television series "Desperate Housewives" for a racial slur against Filipino medics, the Philippine Daily Inquirer said on its web site Wednesday.

The officials cited a recent episode where actress Teri Hatcher, who plays Susan Mayer, asked whether the person attending to her during a medical consultation "can I check those diplomas because I want to make sure that they're not from some med school in the Philippines."

I have a theory about this.

I am told - by Filipinos - that Filipinos love America and embrace its traditions. They are also hard working Christians.

Need I say more?

"...because I want to make sure that they're not from some med school in the Gaza Strip."

"...because I want to make sure that they're not from some med school in the Beijing."

"...because I want to make sure that they're not from some med school in the Havanna."

Mmm Hmm... I wouldn't suggest that you hold your breath until you hear any of these three statements coming out of Hollywood.

Rush Limbaugh: Anatomy of a Smear

here it is...

Limbaugh Laws

Couldn't find the clip that The Left took out of context... So this must do for now...
Will keep looking.

The Death of Me

If I croak in the near future, the Clinical Chemistry Analyzer pictured above will probably be the proximal cause of my demise. It's a good instrument... Purchased recently... And made by a division of Johnson & Johnson with technology purchased from Kodak. But it has nearly doubled my workload and responsibilities...

Did I get a rise in pay?

No, I did not.

Is Hollywood Writing Our Songs?

The Scottish political activist, Andrew Fletcher once said, "Let me write the songs of a nation... I don't care who writes its laws."

Fletcher obviously understood the relationship between the Arts and the human heart... Something the Liberals in Hollywood discovered many years ago.

Our culture gets a steady diet of left-wing pap... Anti-Traditional Values , Anti-American Pride... Sexual deviancy and moral vacancy... Pro-Choice, Anti-Christian, and Pro-Secular Prejudice - all historically edited, tied together with moral relativism, and packaged in a theatrical "I.V." - a bolus of narrative poison delivered directly into our bloodstream... Our subconscious... Our hearts.

The artistic hand that's been rocking the cradle for three generations is a subtle and insidious pedagogue... A mesmerizing prophet of compromise and decay. Consider its influence... Is there any component of that great aggregate of attributes that our grandparents recognized as moral character... That Hollywood hasn't questioned, discredited, or "dumbed down" in the last 50 years?

The definition of "trashiness" has definitely been redefined since I was a young man... And even Christians seem less concerned with having "clean hands." Many lazily slouch towards the convenient belief that they can laugh at things that grieve God... Digest a steady diet of sexual immorality... Sit back and watch all things Holy artfully lampooned... And not be effected.

Any rich society is vulnerable to moral decay and the deterioration of its character, but I believe the current efficiency of decomposition and rot - is primarily due to our entertainment. And as our nation slides toward "becoming less"... It is The Left that is greasing the skids... It is Hollywood that is writing the songs.

Exposed: The Perfect Day (Part 1a)

Exposed: The Perfect Day (Part 1b)

Exposed: The Perfect Day (Part 2)

Exposed: The Perfect Day (Part 3a)

Exposed: The Perfect Day (Part 3b)

Exposed: The Perfect Day (Part 4a)

Exposed: The Perfect Day (Part 4b)

Another Democrat Throws Hat into Ring

Looks like the Dems have yet another choice. You'll find his web site HERE.

Congressman Peter King and Too Many Mosques

New York Rep. Peter King, a prominent House Republican, said there are “too many mosques in this country” in a recent interview with Politico.

“There are too many people sympathetic to radical Islam,” King said. “We should be looking at them more carefully and finding out how we can infiltrate them.”

Earlier, King had said in an interview with radio and television host Sean Hannity that 85 percent of the mosques in this country are controlled by “extremist leadership,” a comment that prompted strong condemnations from many religious organizations and from the Democratic National Committee.

The Democrat National Committee is thoroughly disgusted that King would trash its allies in the radical Islamic world.

The Democrats, the ACLU, Radical Islam, Illegals, the Mainstream Media, MoveOn.org, and everyone else that hates America are sure to go after this guy for speaking the obvious truth.

Rep. King:

Too many mosques that don't cooperate...

Alan Keyes Enters Race

Maybe Alan isn't getting enough attention at home.

As Skyepuppy puts it: "...because we don't have enough GOP candidates yet."

I am personally willing to bet my home, my retirement savings, and my sister's three children that I can pick out five candidates that will include the next president of the United States.

The majority of the present candidacies are self-serving and pathetic...

We've got Barack, Bill, Chris, Dennis, Duncan, Fred, Hill, Joe, John, John, Mike, Mike, Mitt, Ron, Rudy, Sam, Tom... and Alan.

But it's much worse... This site claims that there are 47 Democrats and 63 Republicans that have officially announced their candidacies.

To introduce justice into the system, I feel that any announced candidate that gets less than 5% of the vote should get their head shaved and have to dance on the Capitol steps in their underwear.

Fair is fair.

The Peter Heck I Know

Radio Host... Educator... Pundit... Princess...

A lesser man would look foolish wearing a tiara. But beneath the rhinestones lie the merciless, brooding eyes of a jungle cat... And a threatening physical presence that effortlessly instills fear and foreboding.

Though rarely caught on film, the Malott's Blog staff photographer - at risk of life and limb - was able to covertly snap a couple candid shots of this radio legend.

I've never met this imaginative genius, but I listen to his show almost every day. Peter Heck is the gold standard of political analysis. He is the Cadillac of AM Radio. He is the Jennifer Lopez Buttocks of Talk... An analogy that works on many levels.

Does hosting the fastest growing talk show in Indiana take its toll?

Sometimes.

But tune in daily from 4-6 PM at 1350 AM... or on the Internet at the Peter Heck Web Site... for one of the wittiest and most profound talk shows on radio today.

Treading Water in a Dangerous World

On 9/12/01 - none of us - could have conceived that George Bush, the Military, and the Intelligence Community would protect us from another attack on American soil for... Six Days - Let alone Six Years.

But while George Bush has exceeded every one's (yes, every one's) expectations, we still use the misnomer "War on Terror" for the war against Radical Islam, and our country is inexplicably divided on whether we should fight it or surrender.

Daniel Pipes at Front Page Mag writes:
To one side stand those of us who see the Muslim world going through a temporary crisis and who seek ways to help modernize its religion, so that Muslims can flourish. To the other side stand those who see Islam as an irredeemable death cult and seek to ban Islam and disengage from Muslims.

I stand somewhere else. I prefer the "carrot and big stick" approach to Islam.

Demonstrate that you are not a drooling Defective from the Dark Ages and I'll share my carrot with you. Otherwise...

The "Information Age" - The Satellite - and Middle East Oil Money have transformed our world into what it is. Our best hope may be that we can continue "treading water" until the Oil Money runs out.

Happy 9/11

From the Entire Team

Just for Men

Just for Men brush-in gel penetrates coarse facial hair. Lasts until the gray grows back. Each shade matches the same Just for Men head haircolor. Plus, you get multiple applications from one box.

Obviously, Image is Everything, even in the world of Jihad. And, becoming irrelevant is a hard pill. And, getting a date when you live in a cave and bathe quarterly...? Daunting.

But vanity-led efforts to hold back the ravages of time... Are most pathetic when expressed in old men.

My Advice for Senator Craig

Craig pleaded guilty earlier this month to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct after his arrest in June in an undercover sting operation at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport where police were targeting lewd behavior in the men's toilet.

The best thing Senator Larry Craig could do for himself is to switch to the Democrat Party. The result would be... Republicans and conservatives would think about the same of him as they do now, and the Democrats and the mainstream media (here I repeat myself) would love him.

"Ladies and gentleman, this experience has been a kind of epiphany for me. I now understand how gays are treated in this country, and I believe as a Democrat, I could stand with a party that respects diversity..." is all he would have to say.

Democrats in Congress and the mainstream media stand behind their own in matters of perversion, perjury, plagiarism, and a multitude of sins and criminal acts. When they can't turn a blind eye, they spin the facts and the story into any shape that helps their cause.

Whether it's shady land deals by Harry Reid and Barack Obama... Or the classics: Barney Frank, Sandy Berger, Joe Biden, Ted Kennedy, Clinton, and Clinton... The "Scoundrels Are Us" Party knows how to care for its own.

So Larry, do yourself a favor.

Gonzales and the Price of our Safety

From Katie Couric's Notebook - a daily radio blather heard on AM stations that use CBS for their news - Katie mentioned wiretaps twice and (so-called) torture once as she explained why the latest crucified conservative minority had resigned.

She didn't mention the 6 years that Bush and Gonzales have kept us free from further attacks.

She did mention that George Bush was not at his side as this "son of immigrants" resigned... Surely meaning to suggest to Hispanics that Bush had deserted their misguided brother.

If Katie was an honest woman - and not a disingenuous, smarmy little twit - she would have explained in her "journal" that this "high-tech lynching" of yet another conservative minority is simply to be expected when said minorities wander from the Political Party that loves them.

As Couric, the mainstream media, and other Democrats celebrate this latest victory in their war against George Bush, I'd like to personally thank Alberto for having the shocking temerity to do what needed to be done to keep us safe since 9-11-01.

Too Cool for 86




That's my 86-year-old dad in the WWII Veteran hat, perched next to his brand new 50 inch High Definition Plasma TV.

He has been having a little trouble with macular degeneration, so the bigger screen helps.

That's what he says. Or maybe he just wanted to have the biggest and best TV in the family. (I could actually make out the individual blades of artificial turf in the HD NFL broadcast. Dang!)

I'd be green with envy, but this old Tin Can Sailor deserves the best!

The Censored Opus

Find it here.
"You're not getting a girlfriend blathering about American Idol..."

Sweet.

Believing in Hell

My Dear Wormwood,

I wonder that you should ask whether it is essential that you should keep the patient in ignorance of your own existence. That question, at least for the present phase of the struggle, has been answered for us by the high command. Our policy, for the moment, is to conceal ourselves. Of course this has not always been so. We are really faced with a cruel dilemma. When the humans disbelieve in our existence we lose all the pleasing results of direct terrorism and we make no magicians. On the other hand, when they believe in us, we cannot make them materialists and skeptics.

If any suspicion of your existence begins to arise in his mind, suggest to him a picture of something in red tights, and persuade him that he cannot believe in that, and therefore he cannot believe in you.

The Screwtape Letters... C.S. Lewis


As a 21st century Christian man, I hate believing in hell. It goes against my sophisticated, human expectations of a loving God. But there are over 162 references in the New Testament which warn of Hell. Over 70 of these references are attributed to Jesus. It is also problematic that the New Testament speaks of Satan 250 times... Almost once per chapter.

In order to believe in hell, I think you must first get beyond your little sense of justice... Your little sense of fairness... And your unholy desire to fashion a graven God in your image.

I think you must first understand the audacity of going 24 hours without prayer... The insolence of embracing entertainment that grieves God... The impertinence of perceiving your life as your own.

Until you despise, and are humbled by, your lukewarm moments... Until you fully grasp the seriousness of sin... You probably won't truly believe in hell.

The prophets were "on their knees," sometimes "face in the dirt" in their supplication. We are upright and proud, as we treat God like an old friend we could walk up to in a restaurant and slap on the back. We are casual and presuming when we approach the Almighty... At a comfortable distance... Accepting Him on our terms.

In short... The fear of God is not in us.


We continue to fuse our love of the world with our diluted faith, ever oblivious to the spiritual warfare that rages around us. We reduce God's dynamic plan to a lifestyle... A peripheral tradition... A set of guidelines that help us raise clean cut, respectful children.

If you're a churchgoer, consider how many times this year you've heard a sermon on the grace of God, as opposed to sermons about - or even the mention of - hell. Christ talked more about hell than heaven, but today's church knows better than He... That the opposite makes better business sense... And better relates to the fashions of the world.

Deleting hell makes the church more palatable to the world. Deleting hell neutralizes urgency and accommodates passivity. Deleting hell just makes a better show.

I think we can conclude that the ignoring of hell is a symptom of a much bigger problem.

Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

Home Again... Pink Floyd

Softly spoken... Eternal Judgement served up in pastels.

Opus Censored?

Cartoonist Berkeley Breathed has inked his share of anti-Bush episodes, but tonight he’s run afoul of an enemy that really does want to destroy his free speech.

And I’m not talking about radical Islamic front groups this time. Berkeley Breathed is being preemptively censored by our very own Western mainstream media.

The Islamic world’s meltdown over the dreaded cartoons of blasphemy continues to pay dividends.

I hope to link to these... So stay tuned.

The Half Hour News Hour - Rush Limbaugh Controls The World

The Equal Rights Amendment
and My Career in the WNBA

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

It has been stated by someone (much less gallant than I) that the average boy's high school basketball team could beat the best girl's college basketball team. Such are the powers of testosterone.

I know that women's balls are smaller. But the rims are the same size, making it easier to make a basket.

What?

Anyway, I just might be able to compete.

Opponents of the ERA argue that its passage would have far-reaching implications, obliterating traditional distinctions between the sexes. Women, ERA opponents claim, would be required to register for the Selective Service System (the draft) just as men currently do, and would have to serve in combat just as men must.

Critics also maintain that the ERA would require the integration of single-sex schools, sports teams or even restrooms—they point to a decision by a court in the State of Washington which ordered a fraternal civic organization to admit women, based upon the ERA within its state constitution.

Restrooms? I have a hard enough time peeing with other "men" in the room... However, I am sensitive to the boon this would be for dirty old men, and their unique proclivities, everywhere.

The Left... The Liberals... The Progressives... Or whatever name they're hiding behind this week... Just can't seem to leave any tradition or value unmolested. They never met a Pandora's box that they didn't want to open.

Some ERA supporters argue that the earlier 35 state ratifications are still valid and therefore only three more would amend the ERA to the Constitution, without Congress resubmitting it to state lawmakers. This idea is called the "three-state strategy".

This is a bad idea that won't go away.

I'd write more, but I need to go work on my "hook shot."

The Museum of the Over-Rated

My hometown doesn't have a lot to interest vacationers, but the Indiana Museum of the Over-Rated is truly something special. Built... Some would say symbolically... On the grounds of the former landfill, the museum covers a little more than 3 acres in the scenic, rural Midwest.

Entering the front lobby your senses are immediately engulfed by the large bust of John F Kennedy, the 35th president of our country.

JFK, who went sailing while the Berlin Wall was erected... Who partied as the Cuban Freedom Fighters were slaughtered in the Bay of Pigs... And who, when his spine finally stiffened - almost caused World War III in the Cuban Missile Crisis... Is now best known for his womanizing -laying the groundwork for Bill Clinton's exploits.

What differentiates his presidential legacy from that of... say... Jimmy Carter's?

Just a couple bullets.

Many museum visitors who are movie buffs head straight for the Sean Penn Repository of Worthless Cinema. Named for perhaps the most over-rated actor in movie history, this very large collection of stage and screen performers celebrates those who have inexplicably gained fame through their ability to bore audiences everywhere.

Recently opening over in the Journalism Wing, there is a long over-due exhibit.

The Christiane Amanpour exhibit is simply stunning. Here is a celebrated woman whose journalistic mediocrity and under-developed sense of reality is truly legendary. This woman, who was raised in Tehran, and led a privileged life under the regime of the Shah of Iran -amazingly managed to grow up in the Middle East without developing any sense or understanding of Radical Islam and its threat to the world. How did she do it? I'm sure I don't know. It just must be part of the magic of being Christiane.

Over in the the Elvis Presley Pagoda of Over-Rated Popular Music, which was once dominated by Disco Music... Rap now dominates - as one might assume. But whether it's Fabian, Helen Reddy, Air Supply, or Michael Jackson - All mediocre songs and voices from the present and past are well represented.

In the Donovan McNabb Sports Pavilion there is an entire section dedicated to the National Basketball Association. How did the NBA take the most exciting sport on the high school and college levels, and turn it into a complete yawner, lacking even a modicum of integrity? Come to Indiana and find out!

For directions and more details about the Indiana Museum of the Over-Rated, visit Indiana Tourism.gov and receive a free brochure.

Coulter on Cleland

Max Cleland was a war hero who lost his limbs as a result of Viet Cong grenades, giving him the stature to gleefully taunt George Bush and Dick Cheney. "Where the hell were you in the Vietnam War?" Cleland responded to Cheney. "If you had gone to Vietnam like the rest of us, maybe you would have learned something about war."

Then we learned Cleland was a victim only of his own clumsiness and had dropped the grenade on himself in Vietnam after stopping for a beer.

A blog I rarely visit really tore in to Ann Coulter for the article linked above in which she marginalized the wounds suffered by liberal anti-war activist Max Cleland while serving his country in Vietnam.

Here is a simple rule for Ann to follow in the future to protect her from such criticism.

A. If a man returns wounded from Vietnam and rapes 8-year-old little girls - then it is permissible for the prosecutor to question the way in which his wounds were contracted in order to secure a guilty verdict.

B. If a man returns wounded from Vietnam and causes the deaths of 18 and 19-year-old young Americans by speaking treason, and thus encouraging the enemy - then questioning the way his wounds were contracted is not allowed.

I hope that helps, Ann.

Potassium Chloride and Abortion

Some prisoners executed by lethal injection might be so inadequately sedated that they are awake enough to suffer agonizingly painful deaths, according to a study.

April '97.....".....Texas newspapers recently reported a freakish accident. A lady, while hospitalized, was accidentally injected with one of the three poisons used to kill prisoners in the state's death chamber. The horrible way she died, convulsing in pain and screaming that she was burning, shocked the readers.

Potassium chloride is the salt of potassium after it's reacted with hydrochloric acid. In large doses, injected intravenously, it would burn and hurt horribly, because it's a salt and because it instantly throws off the chemical balance of the blood with which it comes into contact. It makes all muscles lock up in extreme contraction that would hurt unbearably.

In response to the Supreme Court decision upholding the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act, many abortion providers in Boston and around the country have adopted a defensive tactic. To avoid any chance of partially delivering a live fetus, they are injecting fetuses with lethal drugs before procedures.

The National Abortion Federation is training doctors to inject potassium chloride into a preborn baby’s heart. Since the procedure kills the baby while in the mother’s womb, abortionists argue they cannot be prosecuted under the ban.

In the case of lethal injections, murderers have the advantage of being anesthetized before the potassium chloride stops their heart. But I guess the babies are expected to "tough it out."

The 300 (Mexicans)

You gotta love this!

The Belated Heaven's Gate Suicide 10th Anniversary Celebration

Now see... I get busy and I miss the tenth anniversary of the Heaven's Gate thing... And I fail to celebrate the day on which the dead guys were found... or the bodies left by the guys who went to the space ship - depending upon your personal beliefs and loon quotient. In fact it was March 26, 1997.

In preparing to kill themselves, members of the group drank citrus juices to ritually cleanse their bodies of impurities. The suicide was accomplished by ingestion of phenobarbital mixed with vodka, along with plastic bags secured around their heads to induce asphyxiation. They were found lying neatly in their own bunk beds, with their faces and torsos covered by a square, purple cloth. Each member carried five dollar bills and a few quarters in their wallets. All 39 were dressed in identical black shirts and sweat pants, brand new black-and-white Nike tennis shoes, and armband patches reading "Heaven's Gate Away Team".

You can't make this stuff up. Brand new Nikes. Cool!


Heaven's Gate was founded by Marshall Herff Applewhite (pictured above) and Bonnie Lu Truesdale Nettles sometime before 1975. The two claimed to have arrived via UFO from another dimension (a "level above human") and would return via a secretive "Process", which was taught to group members.

What interests me, is that speaking, breathing adults heard the UFO story and believed it enough to "off" themselves.

And what "sells it" for Me?

Six of the male members of the group voluntarily underwent castration as an extreme means of maintaining the ascetic lifestyle.

Dang!

And just who do you see to get that done? Can you get it done professionally? Is there a home castration kit you can buy? Are there instructions in Popular Mechanics? I immediately think of the neighborhood veterinarian, but I'd be embarrassed to ask her, and I doubt she'd do it anyway.

...Come to think of it... I've dated a couple women who would probably have been up to the task... Certainly figuratively, if not literally.

You know... I've never been popular. I'm kind of a loser and a geek... Not very bright... Kind of odd in some ways. I don't have many friends. I'm nothing to look at and I have no money. The chances that my prospects will improve are poor... But if I ever need attention and acceptance so desperately that I attempt to join a cult...
Please someone... Come to my house... And just shoot me.

Thank you.

Sick Wife Strategy

John Edwards, the prettiest man that has ever run for president, has a bulldog for a wife. She is beginning to make Teresa Hines Kerry look like Pat Nixon.

Recently John sicced his wife on his Democrat opponents... And she said Obama was "behaving in a holier-than-thou way." She praised her husband for apologizing for his vote on Iraq and criticized Hillary for not doing the same.

How does she "get away" with being "out front" - vocal and critical? Dare I say it?

She is sick.

There are certain things in life that are untouchable and sacrosanct... Jesse Jackson's inability to speak understandable English, for instance. Can't touch that. When Jackson ran for president, everyone knew this country would never elect a man that talked like "Fat Albert's" friend, "Mushmouth"... But no reporter ever broached that subject.

A liberal woman with breast cancer falls into the same category.

Elizabeth Edwards can say whatever she wants and John's opponents are powerless to challenge her.

Let us now pause a moment for the obligatory - We hope and pray that this mother of young children survives this deadly disease - Which goes without saying. (But I knew I'd darn-well better say it.)

At the risk of compromising its reputation as a bastion of sensitivity, Malott's Blog has decided to call this John Edwards' "Sick Wife" Strategy. Being a former trial lawyer, Edwards has the ethics and morals of... Well... a Trial lawyer... And I figure he will use any means at his disposal.

On a related note, Malott's Blog has decided for now to steer clear of discussing anything relating to a possible "Dead Wife" strategy... And it's not easy.

Get well, Elizabeth.

Gardening Tip #6

Make a Tomato Map

The garden can be a real jungle... Fortunately I have just the outfit for it. I also have a tomato map.

I planted 5 different kinds of tomatoes in my garden last May. But by this time - a lesser gardener... a careless gardener...

An idiot... Would have no idea which tomato plant was which - and would be clueless as to which variety produced the tomato he liked best. So next spring he would have no clue as to which seeds to buy.

While it's true that some, like the branywine, are distinctive in color, most tomatoes look alike.

Early in the spring I start my tomato seeds in peat-pellets (the kind that swell when you add water) and mark them with secretary's liquid paper. For instance:

"-" is Better Boy

"=" is Rutgers

"+" is Brandywine... And so on...

When I put the pellets in peat pots, I mark the pots with the same symbol. And when I plant the pots in the garden, I make a tomato map. (see photo illustration above)

Costumes by L.L. Bean

Our Living Constitution

Whites are now in the minority in nearly one in 10 U.S. counties. And that increased diversity, fueled by immigration and higher birth rates among blacks and Hispanics, is straining race relations and sparking a backlash against immigrants in many communities.

In northern Virginia, Teresita Jacinto said she feels less welcome today than when she first arrived 30 years ago, when she was one of few Hispanics in the area.

Woodbridge is part of Prince William County, which recently passed a resolution seeking to deny public services to illegal immigrants. Similar measures have been approved or considered in dozens of communities across the nation. In all, state lawmakers have introduced more than 1,400 measures related to immigration this year, the National Conference of State Legislatures says.

Supporters say local laws are necessary because Congress has failed to crack down on the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in the U.S. But many Hispanics legally in the U.S. say they feel targeted, too.

I think it's ironic that the much ignored 10th amendment, which grants the states power over issues not enumerated in the Constitution, should be exercised in a general area in which the Federal Government has refused to fulfill its constitutional responsibilities.

X. The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved for the States respectively, or to the people.

Is become...

X. The responsibilities delegated to, but ignored by, the United States by the Constitution, are reserved for the States respectively, or to the people to act upon, and clean up any messes caused by the United States' dereliction.

Are There Really Men Who Wear Pajamas?


...let's talk important things today.


Don't most men sleep in their underwear and a t-shirt? I mean really. This is not 1955. Even men with daughters surely wear underwear and a t-shirt to bed.


I'm sure this is true because the guys in movies ... At least the cool guys... Don't wear pajamas.


The only pajamas I would wear would be the ones that are one-piece with snaps and have footies with rubber soles... With maybe a Bugs Bunny embroidered thing. I would wear those.
I had a pair like that once, but it's been a while. A long while.


And what do I wear now? I wear a lavender teddy with a smart, gray blazer.
... Because I can.



Just kidding.

No, really! I'm just kidding!

I have no idea what women wear... But I figure it's a t-shirt and underwear.

Color Footage of Tacoma Narrows

This latest devastating footage from the Minnesota Bridge collapse demonstrates why we must get out of Iraq and spend our money on infrastructure.

I will continue to seek out Minnesota Bridge film until we finally have a hurricane that we can blame on President Bush and the war in Iraq.

New from L.L. Bean this Fall

Any self-respecting Jihadi Suicide-Bomber would not be caught dead without the proper headgear.

Picture, if you will... You're strutting your stuff down Main Street towards a crowded mall or nightclub... Fifty pounds of C4 explosives on your back... Is your head bare?

I don't think so!

No, you're decked-out in your L.L. Bean Desert Bomber. Just $39.99

The infidel girls will stand back and say to each other, "Now there's a man who knows what to wear when he blows himself up!"


Or maybe you're headed to the subway on a cool and crisp Autumn afternoon. Do you want to meet those virgins in a baseball cap? No way, Waseem! Before you leave your brains all over the trains, why not pamper yourself by donning the L.L. Bean Zawahri TNT Turban? Just $42.50

This light-weight cotton turban features a custom head-band and a secret compartment for the explosive of your choice.


But maybe you're a traditionalist and prefer to do your bombing in the skies. You'll look suave and sophisticated in the Arrafat Palestinian, modelled below by Ringo Starr. Just $29.99

And what about the evening before you blow yourself away? As you say goodbye to your wife, children, and other property... Why not kick back and wrap your head in comfort with the Gadhafi Bowl-Boy. Just $49.95 -Imported

Made of the finest silk from Bangladesh, the GBB lends sophistication to any event, whether it's a formal pre-bombing dinner, or simply sodomizing the neighbor-boy in the backyard.

So remember L.L. Bean when you're deciding how to cover your head... Before you blow it off.

Vote for Bagge

Would you like to se this wounded veteran get $10,000?

Then take 30seconds, go here, and vote.