Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Who Is This?

Is it...  It looks like her... She seems to get used a lot in Indiana Wesleyan ads.

 I'd give worlds to know.

Thanks Grammy


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

How to Beat Obama

You forget about what color Obama is, you take off the politically correct gloves, and you pulverise him with his record.

The Difference Between Men and Women

Difference #1:  Women hope to change their husbands.  Men hope their wives will not change.

Working in a hospital, I've worked with women all my life... And I have heard a thousand complaints about what husbands do and what they don't do.  The wives get ticked off... Feel powerless... They cry... They moan...

Men don't do that.  Men rarely complain to other people about their wives.  If their wife can't cook, they eat out or learn to cook themselves.   If their wives are lazy and keep a messy house, the husbands help  clean, clean it themselves, or get used to the mess.

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"
--Professor Higgins

Of course this is a generalization, but I believe wives have a harder time accepting their mate as he is than do husbands.

I love women... always have... They are so much more sensitive, intricate, and interesting than men.   But I often want to tell them to accept the bum as he is, take the responsibility upon themselves to make the best of their lives... as best that they can...  And shut up.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Religious Bigots and Hypocrites

PRINCETON, NJ -- Though the vast majority of Americans say they would vote for their party's nominee for president in 2012 if that person happens to be a Mormon, 22% say they would not, a figure largely unchanged since 1967.

The question is mainly relevant to the Republican and independent vote in 2012, given that the current Republican front-runner, Mitt Romney, is an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, commonly known as the Mormon church, and that another Mormon, former Utah Gov. and former Ambassador to China Jon Huntsman, may enter the race for the GOP nomination as early as next week.

I remember the 2008 Republican nomination process when the former Baptist preacher Mike Huckabee attacked Romney and had nothing but praise for RINO John McCain... I wondered then if Huckabee's attacks were based upon the belief that the Mormon religion was a cult.

Well now let's be honest.  The Catholic Church is a cult that glorifies Mary as divine... Protestant churches, including my own Church of Christ is a cult of rich, lukewarm believers that date Jesus on Sundays and sleep in the world's bed the rest of the week... So picking on another cult seems a little hypocritical.

Orrin Hatch, Mormon Senator from Utah has been a friend of Republican conservatives for many years and doesn't seem to scare the faithful.  I guess I just don't understand the reason for the data... unless it's just a kind of religious bigotry.

But if a Mormon can't win... Fine.  Nominate someone else.  But I have to say that the rich, lukewarm believers of the Catholic and Protestant Churches, and their rich, lukewarm believers with a Bible college degree... Their hypocrisy makes me want to spit-up on my shoes.


Sunday, June 19, 2011

Gore Applauds Romney's Stand on Global Warming

"Good for Mitt Romney — though we've long passed the point where weak lip-service is enough on the Climate Crisis ... While other Republicans are running from the truth, he is sticking to his guns in the face of the anti-science wing of the Republican Party."
--Al Gore

If that isn't the kiss of death, I don't know what is. 


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Crying Tornado!

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama -- In the wake of the April 27 tornadoes, veteran television meteorologist James Spann is questioning whether too frequent tornado warnings are causing people to ignore them.

Doppler Radar is an amazing thing.  It has the ability to pick up rotation in storm clouds that might lead to the formation of one of Mother Nature's most deadly phenomena, the tornado.

Currently when Doppler senses rotation, a tornado warning is issued for the counties in the storm's path, and tornado sirens warn the public. This spring we've heard the sirens several times, but no tornadoes have touched down in our county.  The problem is this: our warning system cries wolf again and again, and human nature is such that we become complacent... We hear the siren, we play the odds, we turn over in bed, and place our pillow over our ears.

I suggest this:
1)  When a warning is issued, the sirens blare for two minutes, non-stop...  Then they blare for 15 seconds every 10 minutes until the danger is past.
2) If an actual tornado is spotted, the sirens blare non-stop.

I know... It's not a perfect plan.  But it might be more effective than what we have now.


Monday, June 13, 2011

A Pretty Grill is Like a Melody

I have found love.  Her name is Weber, and she is my grillfriend. 

She is a pretty grill, a quiet grill, and she cooks my meals and never complains.  She is not perfect... She always has gas... But when I touch her nobs, it lights a fire in her...

I've never been one to be grill-crazy,  but Weber and I have so much in common.  We like the same literature, and I often read to her in moments of quiet repose.

Please don't judge us.  For aren't we all just flesh, and blood, and steel, and igniter switches... Looking for warmth in a cold world?


Friday, June 10, 2011

O'Reilly Trashes Cain

Last night I watched Bill O'Reilly interview Herman Cain... O'Reilly treated him as if he was the "Boy" sitting in the back of the bus.  Bill was condescending and verbally combative.

Cain is a very successful African American who has accomplished more and overcome more in his life than the arrogant FOX entertainer / school teacher could ever dream of... This interview exposed the fact that Bill is a Country Club Republican who is embarrassed by men like Cain.  I believe O'Reilly attempted in this interview to douse the growing enthusiasm of conservative Republicans for this relatively unknown candidate.

Rush Limbaugh calls O'Reilly the "Ted Baxter" of network news programming.

Today I agree.


Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

"If you voted for Obama in 2008 to prove you weren’t a racist, you’d better vote for someone else in 2012 to prove you’re not an idiot."


Sunday, June 05, 2011

Why My Life is Better Than Yours

Reason #9

Every day, people I barely know stop me on the street and ask me... They say, "Malott, your life is obviously better than mine. Can you tell me why?" Usually I just push them out of my way, especially if they're old, female, and feeble.

But there are times when I take a moment and try to pass on a tiny bit of perfection to those less worthy.

This is one of those times.

Reason #9:  I have a clothesline. 

When I was growing up clotheslines were found everywhere in the neighborhood, and on summer afternoons they were regularly populated with sheets, pillow slips, and the familiar clothing my friends wore.   Some had fancy clothespin bags, while some mothers just made-do by stuffing their apron pockets full of clothespins.

I have two kinds of clothespins.

I'm sure there was a clothespin manufacturer in America when I was a boy.  But now they would be made in China.  And they would be plastic.

Last Monday mine was probably the only property in town that had bedsheets on the line, billowing in the warm breeze.  And when I went to bed that night, I'm pretty sure I was lying between the best smelling sheets in town.

But I guess people like you will just have to suffer with Downy, Snuggle, and other pathetic substitutes for excellence.

I hope this little peek into... what it's like to be me... brought a moment of sunlight to your dark little world. I hope it added a scintilla of joy to your meager and pointless life.


Friday, June 03, 2011

Quote for the Day

"To convert one sinner from his way is an event of greater importance than the deliverance of sub-Saharan Africa from the problem of Aids."
--Allistair Begg... A variation on George Smeaton's, "To convert one sinner from his way is an event of greater importance than the deliverance of an entire kingdom from temporal evil."